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Ex wife & wife thread


Brutus

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So, I was on the GDL AIM thread last night, and we got to talking how we deal with our wives while we try to play NHL94!!

This got me going about a few stories, and the idea came we should start a thread for this beauty of a topic.

Now, I'm divorced and re-married, with 5 kids, so I've got plenty of juice stories, and figure I'd start with two from my ex in the next post. You guys can follow up with a simple how you deal with your wife (wait till she's asleep), drug her? tie her up??, etc. or any great stories you feel to share.

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So my ex used to come into the room and start byatching at me all the time, but would save it for when I was enjoying a good video game.and towards the end of the marriage, it became obvious we were at the end, so I started to go on full ignore mode, and tried to just not talk to her, like for days & days. But she had a way to keep going, and going & saying crazy s**t till she KNEW she had hit THAT nerve.

So, one day, she comes in while I'm playing video games on the TV, and starts byatching, and I'm like, "Hey do you hear something? (while looking around the room after pausing the game). She keeps going, and I then say, "Self, do you hear that?", and then I look around again, and I'm like, "YES, I DO! I hear SOMETHING. Not sure what it is." and keep looking all around the room, while she's standing there now in silence with this look like, "Really?"

Then, I say, "Yah, but I'm not sure where it's coming from." I then pause, and right as she's about to speak, say "but it sure does sound like a c*nt!".

W/ that she blows up, and starts breaking half the s**t in the place! It was worth all the misery that followed :)

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Story number 2.

As any many a man wiith an ex-wife could say, I used to get into arguments w/ my ex-wife, thus the "ex".

And, in some of those arguments, you have to give in some times. No way around it. Can't stand ground on every argument. So, when ever I was giving in, I'd say, Ok, Ok. You are right. I'll see you next Tuesday.

This goes on for about 3 yrs. That's a lot of times I say, "Ok Ok, you are right. I'll see you next Tuesday. She is obviously to the reference at this time (internet is not as rampant, and it's like 1996-98), but happy to get a "She's right.", and tolerates the confusing stupid line after it.

After about three years, one day, we are arguing in front of her friend, and not wanting a scene, I give in, and out of habit, drop my line, See you next Tuesday. To which her friend starts laughing out loud, and doesn't realize this has been going on for three years. When she gets my ex's bewildered look, she explains to her that means I'm calling her the joke See© You(U) Next(N) Thursday(T).

Just like out of a cartoon, I could swear I saw steam pouring out those ears of hers!!

I still laugh to this day when I think back on the look on her face as three years of that phrase and all those arguments she thought I was giving into came rushing through her mind all at one moment!!

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I don't have any stories to add, but witnessed this greatness last night. brutus,seth lupz,labs, and I have forged a bond that cannot be broken now. Everyone who stayed up last night got their money's worth for sure :dal_skater_hand_grab:

Also if this thread doesn't bring hokkee out of hiding then I don't know what will.

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Buddy from work caught me on laughing at my own post here today, and so I showed it to him. After crying outloud and causing a scene, he told me the story needs a pic of my ex to make the story come to life even more!

Of course, she's my ex-wife, and the story is from 1995, so I didn't think I'd have any pics to post (destroyed most evidence of her existence during divorce!). But, I just remembered I kept a few photos of us from a Xmas party cause old Brutus had really long f-n hair back then.

I'll dig it up when I stop by the house & post 'er up here for entertainment's value later on today.

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Here's a pic of my ex, back in 1995 when that story took place. The pic is around Xmas time and was a happy night, and of course, it's almost 20 yrs ago, and that was in my vampire days!

post-6250-0-25534100-1418192689_thumb.jp

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I don't have any stories to add, but witnessed this greatness last night. brutus,seth lupz,labs, and I have forged a bond that cannot be broken now. Everyone who stayed up last night got their money's worth for sure :dal_skater_hand_grab:

Also if this thread doesn't bring hokkee out of hiding then I don't know what will.

Yeah it was a show for sure, he had our attention like a good standup comic. He had us dying. I'm still laughing picturing the one scene he described with the woman throwing and breaking things in the room while Brutus keeps his head (and his cool) facing the computer screen.

This place, the people and this game is really something special.

Brew ur a f**king monster, u look to be like 6'8''. Look at that paw! No way you can use a 6-button original controller. You need that old giant joystick they used to sell. My old buddy had big hands and sausages for fingers, he could only use the joystick.

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Wonderful thread!

I'm getting married next year, so I suppose you could say I'm halfway of having a wife (and ex-wife for that matter if you're a pessimist). I have nothing extreme to contribute to this, but I suppose anyone of us who has a partner has received the occasional "roll eyes" when you're trying to tell them you're busy with a trade or looking up the next draft pick. Sometimes I try to keep the mood up by saying "I'm dedicating this win to you, honey", but for some weird reason it doesn't work...

giphy.gif

Edited by Fitzo
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All these stories remind me of funny joke:

A man shoots his wife in the head 8 times, and is, of course, arrested.

At the interrogation, the detective asks the man, "Why did you shoot your wife 8 times in the head?"

The man answers, "Because I ran out of bullets!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Awesome present. Where can I find a wife #2? LOL. 1st thing she said after I told her I was in to the Blitz B finals was: "So after that you can stop playing right?" Haha

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LOL, great thread.

Balancing '94 with the wife/girlfriend is a tricky beast, particularly in the beginning when you are overwhelmed with knowledge digestion, games, drafts, etc. It's hard to think about anything else, and women KNOW when you're staring at them during a conversation, but your mind is preoccupied thinking about trading your 3rd and 4th round picks for Tomas Sandstrom.

I mainly play late nights after the wife (and more importantly kids) are asleep. I always appreciate the late night crowd for that! However, during leagues, I'll have to carve out some earlier times to play. It's not too bad. Same with playoffs. Luckily my wife is cool with it, mainly because I don't sit and play every day (even though I want to! lol).

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  • 4 weeks later...

Funny stuff here !

I may disappoint you all when i tell you my story and i'll keep it short, very short .

Me and my wife, we work at/from home, we work together since 10 years now and it has its ups and down, mostly ups.

I play NHL on my computer with a good old SNES emulator and when i put the controller out of my drawer to play, to relax after a good working day, my wife always says the same ...

" I like you, you're cute playing your old game." ( I only play NHL94 or Actual rosters versions of it )

I might keep her for a good while, she is GOLD !

Edited by M1001
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  • 3 weeks later...

I love it when Evan plays '94. It's always good for a laugh. So many funny things happen, how could you NOT like the game? It also keeps me on my game in making up creative smack talk when the computer is being ridiculous. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

:dal_skater_hand_grab:

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  • 1 year later...
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