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DanK

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Everything posted by DanK

  1. Never stop never-stopping!!!! Faaaaaaaaacking FEEEEEED us '94 on the Switch, EA, you worthless tittyfucking cockgobblins!
  2. @kidswastedFUUUUH. KING. EH! I fuct around w this ROM a li'l bit and it's a f**king marvel, boss! Nicely (F)ucking done buddy! And the touch-ups on the phucking sweaters/uniforms are absolute TITS, man. This is dynamite, thank you (and to all who helped you) for all your work on this one man; let's getting a FOOKIN' league going with this motherfucker sometime soon! DanK
  3. DanK

    NHL Jam '21

    Hey @seamorthis ROM looks/sounds f**king fun as s**t. Unfortunately (for me) I'm not really a gens player anymore and stick mostly to what i know, which these days is snes. So, uh, er, hmm, i guess my question is how many unique likes/subs/notifications do i need to round-up for your youtube channel in order to get you to f**k around and make a version of this for snes also? I'm only f**king around (for the most part), but just out of curiosity, do you mess around with snes ROMs ever also? Either way, nice work on this one. I'm looking forward to seeing it in action. DanK
  4. True and very well said, Mr. Kudelski (btw I absolutely LOVED your work when you were with Ottawa). And in my opinion the starkest example of what you just said is Dallas. Mike Modano, although he may have the teeth of a f**king horse, makes that team viable almost single-handedly. And then when you throw in the Russ "The Lesser Courtnall" Courtnall (h/t @TecmoJon), well then that collectively 67-rated bunch of fuckstains can make some goddamn noise. DanK
  5. I like to play CHI-DET and play as the Blackhawks because I'm a YUUUUUGE Blackhawks fan (esp when Roenick was 1st line at the motherfucking dot) but also because DeToilet always beats me in that matchup and I just fuuuuuucking hate myself. So it works! DanK
  6. Your missus sounds like she's..........not bad. Not bad at all. The f**king WHALE rules. And I won't hear anything to the contrary DanK
  7. Jesus tittyfucking christ, @illegalsmileIV:XX, between you and James Joyce you Irish sure are pithy with your storytelling yeah? Just f**king with you buddy. Based on your usage of the pound sign for money, i gather you're either in "naarthern eyerland" or in great britain, and based on your implied love of weed, booze and GoldenEye, once us f**king yanks are allowed to travel again i'm gonna have to stop by and challenge you to a weekend of "IS THAT ALL YA GOT?!?!?" where the first one to tap-out loses. Your story was f**king hilarious man, thank you for sharing. And i played australian rules football here in the states for about 13 years, so i am WELL aware of the word to which you are referring, but that which gets censored here on the boards. I believe it's spelled very similary to the word CUNTY but without the Y, yeah? Haha cheers buddy! DanK
  8. Prior to buying myself a Switch for my 40th bday in March of 2019 (hey man, it was on sale!) I hadn't kept up with ANY console gaming whatsoever since the great Genesis/SNES wars of the 90's. I was a diehard Genesis kid back then and I played the absolute f**k of EA hockey (OG, 93 & 94) and Madden. My dog eventually murdered my Genesis and then when I moved to Colorado for college in '97 I discovered other ways to "spend my time". I moved back to Chicago after college in like 2002 and my best friend since the age of 6 (he was an SNES combatant in the great console wars) got me playing '94 hockey on SNES. So i went on ebay and bought a system/NHL'94 cart and started playing whenever possible so that i could f**king shut his ass up. I grew up on Genesis version, but since i hadn't played in forever i had no problem just becoming an SNES guy now since my friend was so adamant about it. We played all the f**king time and we expanded our circle of guys who played consistently to the point where we eventually started having an annual St Paddy's Day NHL'94 tourney. It was a total booze-fueled shitshow, and the "winner" usually just ended up getting hazed the hardest since most everyone else was eliminated and started hitting the gas lol. But it was really f**king fun, and that's all that mattered. Well, then came marriage, and buying a condo (or "borrowing" a condo from the bank, whatever), and having kids and just general adulting-type s**t. I always thought to myself how awesome it would be to be able to play 94 online, but I'm too dense in re: computers, the internet and just in general to ever imagine that a place like this existed. But since finding this place earlier this year, I've been having more fun than ever before in my life playing this f**king game. Other than some very casual gaming on my Switch (and that's usually just when i'm on the shitter haha!), 94 is the only f**king game i play anymore. Meeting and playing against a wiiiiiiiiiiide of excellent motherfuckers who call this place home has opened my eyes to how much more there still is to this game. I got humbled immediately upon entering my first classic league here, but it was f**king fun as s**t! Now i know that i kinda suck at this game, and so i go into every game (even exi's) hoping to see something and/or learn something new that i can try to incorporate or at least come up with a counter for. This game truly is merit-based in terms of winners/loser. If you lose, barring some crazy f**king s**t happening, it's usually just your own damn fault and so you gotta wear it! I love that. It's instant feedback as to how good you are or how good you played during that game. As to your last point, THANK YOU for venting! Not until i read your post did i even think about much of the bullshit i just wrote up above. But I'm damn glad to be here with other like-minded idiots such as myself. And I'll f**king drink to that "It's been a long year", buddy! My only advice is to just keep mashing that Bodycheck button! (or speedburst/shoot button, whatever, i guess it does multiple things...) DanK
  9. Your comment f**king cracked me up man, as I served in the 1st console wars as well (on the Genesis side). EA is a very different company these days, but they do have like a side-project/indie arm that releases decent games still (Unravel 1 & 2 come to mind). EA's offerings on the Switch are a sick joke (FIFA 21 is just a f**king re-skin of FIFA's 2018-2020, as far as i've read), but they also love money, so it'd just be a matter of getting enough pre-hype or proven interest/demand. The best thing the Switch has going for it is that it's still selling like crazy, so there's a s**t-ton of systems out there and the install base just for the target demographic for NHL'94 has got to be pretty f**king significant. That being said, don't hold your breath lol DanK
  10. *Caveat: I'm a rookie here and I have never attended a live tourney/event of any kind, so take my opinion with the Kilimanjaro-sized grain of salt that it deserves, but here goes: Question #1 : I live in Chicago, so Minny is all good w/ me. I’ve been there a bunch over the past 10+ years and have gotten smashed there a bunch. Fun town, s**t tons of hotels/bars/restaurants, all good. Question #2 : Again, I’m in Chicago, so Green Bay is easy for me too. But, if you could have all the f**king packers fans leave town for the weekend, that would be greeeeaaaaaat (just kidding, but Go BEARSSSS). Agree with @kingraphthat Minny is way more fun tho. Question #3 : Yes it would affect things for sure. Saturday >>>>> Sunday (unless it’s a 3-day wknd, but that’s a whole other issue lol). Like raph said, jobs/kids need to go back to school, etc.on Mondays. Saturday is just so much easier to plan for and to get a hall pass from that woman who lives at my house. Question #4 : I pretty much only play SNES these days (I know, I know, here is where you all throw rotten tomatoes and cabbage at me, you holding-down-the-button-to-be-the-goalie-motherfuckers). If it were only GENS, then I’d still try to show up if only just to meet people and put faces w/ names (and to drink the f**king town dry), but SNES would seal it for me. Even just a SNES 2v2 tourney on Saturday evening, after the liquid courage/social lubricant has been flowing for a while, would be entertaining (my opinion). Question #5 : First off, @corbettkb's comment about never wanting to go back to DeToilet made me laugh (blow me, Red Wings) because, not including the MoTown catalogue of music/influences, that city is about as cool as a nuclear meltdown (no offense, of course). But after that, Chicago is obviously great from a "we have f**king everything you need here" standpoint, but it's a waaaaay better road trip destination than a fly-into destination. And that's coming from someone who lives here and who's basically a total homer about all things Chicago. The major airport is far from the city (it's more dealing with the f**king traffic than the distance from downtown that makes it annoying) and hotels are more expensive while offering less creature comforts (comparatively). But if you're not downtown than (or somewhat close to it) then what's the point? There's nothing cool about partying in Rosemont, Illinois (again, no offense). Question #6 : I have no real preference, but I'd lean towards Sept or April actually being better, because if I’m gonna travel in February then I wanna GTFO of Chicago and go somewhere nice and warm (can we hold this in New Orleans? Just kidding). Question #7 : I know this wasn't an explicitly asked question, @Edge of '94 Midwest, but let me just say that your picture of the kid-sized Blackhawks goalie mask on the adult-sized head f**king rules! COVID or not, I give you a 8/10 and I definitely WOULD bang! DanK
  11. #1: that "weird dude" with the plastic stairs has been my own personal "Property Brother" and I'll not have you besmirch that guy! He's inspired me to plastic all the stairs in my entire condo building (it's harder though, nowadays, to break into my neighbor's units undetected since everyone is working from home. Thanks for nothing, COVID!) and #5: honestly, @danTML7 f**king rules, as does most everybody around here. I'm just a rookie (and I'm one dumb cookie), but the amount of guys in this community who are willing to raise their hands to create new ROMS, start up side leagues, help fools like me get their s**t together for online play, etc. is really f**king awesome. There is (and has been) a crazy-strong foundation of solid f**king people here, and we're adding to it more and more everyday. So to echo dan's overall point, come get involved and get f**king weird with us! DanK
  12. You're a stud, @dangler, thanks for your work on this buddy! I'm looking forward to trying it out
  13. Heyyyyyy, so I hate to be "that guy" because it seems like you guys have a pretty cool thing going here, but I represent the acid-jazz-funk-black metal band "Heads in Asses" and I'm just letting you know that unless you take this post down (or change the name) then my firm will be forced to initiate legal proceedings for copyright infringement reasons. And trust me, I wanna be cool, I don't want to have to do that. But there can only be so many "Heads in Asses" in the world, sooooo Just kidding, i'm f**king pants-shitting drunk right now, I just really like the title of this post. Heads in Asses, indeed! DanK
  14. I get it. Story of my life; always a bridesmaid, never the bride...
  15. Hey @dangler, put me in there for Smelly Cheli please! (that is, if there's no one else more deserving who has already reached out and/or if you'd just rather not put me in there lol) DanK
  16. Just wanted to join everyone else here in saying welcome, Dr Bill! And, as a fellow aficionado of swearing, I wanted to let you know that you can swear like a f**king sailor around here! Just do it with a s**t-eating grin on your face, always in good fun, never out of true anger (unless you're mad at yourself; I tell myself to f**k right off all the time whenever I s**t the bed switching to manual goalie). Also, just know that, while I haven't truly tested the limits of the PG-13 post-editing program in use, you can say s**t, f**k and b***h all day long around here, but the only way I've found to not get censored is by using a combo word, such as "motherfucker". That being said, there's no censoring over on the Discord, so you can cuss til the motherfucking cows come home over there. Again, welcome to the community buddy, looking forward to seeing you around online!
  17. I'm bored waiting on something to hit my inbox for work so I've been bouncing around the forums and ended up here. I think the constructive posts on this topic are f**king excellent, and since I'm also a rookie (new here as of April 2020) I'll focus primarily on the stuff that @kidswastedand @Decadent, all of which I think is great. 1. I don't know how hard it used to be get setup for online play, but i agree that the RA setup/links on the homepage is f**king dynamite now and it is suuuuuper welcoming for new guys to get up and running playing games, in my opinion. I'm a complete computer imbecile, but to address Decadent's customer service point, I felt really warmly welcomed here right off the bat. Guys like @halifax, @smozoma, @chaos, @kingraph and @danTML7 (just to name a few) were really helpful with any tech issues I had whatsoever, and even went out of their way to reach out and make sure I had my s**t together (s**t together re: '94, that is. I def DON'T have my real-life s**t together...). I try to always remember that and to pay that forward now when new guys continue to show up around here. Guys like that are what builds community and what keep it together. 2. Agree that # of games in a season should have an upper limit, generally, and 30-40 sounds f**king great to me. If there's guys who want to play in a league with a full 82-game season, god bless 'em, and I hope they can find the numbers to fill it. But I started playing this game when I was like 12 or 13 (the OG EA hockey and '93 on gens were my first taste) and I feel as though, at 41 years old now, I'm in the average age cohort for most people around here. I have kids and a wife, as do a lot of us, so scheduling is just always gonna be a thing. I don't, however, feel that that's anything to lose sleep over. We're here b/c we love the game. It is what it is. COVID and mandatory work-from-home has allowed for more opportunity to play online, but guys who really want to play will always find a way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pooh-pooh'ing the idea of a "Game Night", i just think that's something that's better instituted organically through the community, as opposed to mandated by the mods or league runners. Hopefully I'm not strawmanning this point, as that's certainly not my intention. 3. I think Decadent makes a really nice point re: having a centralized "communication hub", be it forums, discord, etc., but I don't know what the best solution is. Identifying problems is always easier than finding solutions, and so I'm absolutely sympathetic to having to solve this one. But I do agree that multiple avenues of communication just naturally increases the chances of people missing out on opportunities for leagues or whatever that they'd otherwise have jumped at. 4. Unrelated to Kidswasteds' and Decadent's points, reading back a bit further it would appear that some people don't understand what "chirping" is really all about. It's a f**king art form, and it is VERY important for maintaining a strong community, especially in f**king ice hockey (just my opinion). We're not 12-yr old kids around here, talking s**t about headshots in Call of Duty and owning noobs. Chirping isn't calling someone you've not acquainted with a "little b***h" when you're up by 7 goals in the 2nd period. Chirping is about making friends and about being humbled yourself, as much as it is hanging s**t on other people. Just like good comedy, you f**king chirp upwards towards power, not downwards to belittle someone. And you do your goddamn research. When I asked "is @angryjay93 good at this game?" on one of @danTML7's twitch streams, it wouldn't be funny (and still maybe it wasn't) if I hadn't done my research and watched videos/clips/youtube of AJ beating the f**k out of people by playing like an actual God of Olympus. When I talk s**t about how Hartford (The WHALE) is god's gift to '94 hockey, i know damn well what their team rating is, and that they'd likely never be used in top-level play in an actual tournament around here. But I also know that Brass Bonanza is a banger of a goal song, and if i can make @annatarhave to listen to it even ONE time, while he's en route to f**king curb-stomping me by a touchdown or more, then I'll die happy in Valhalla. And I know it's annoying to @legowhen I try to remember back to all the French i learned in 8th grade so i can ask where is the library after a sick one-timer (it's "Ou est la bibliothèque", btw), but Lego is a f**king awesome guy, and he knows I'm just a loudmouthed asshat. And he'll also probably still win the game. Be cool, talk s**t, but do it in that order. This is BY FAR my longest bullet point so I guess it's pretty obvious where my priorities lie, lol. I'll shut my f**king yapper now and go eat lunch, but thank you to so many of you guys for the really thoughtful posts here on this topic. This place f**king rules, and we should treat it as our responsibility to keep it that way, and to make it even better wherever/however we can. Cheers, motherfuckers! DanK
  18. And I average 15 more body checks/game than most SNES players. Goals are pretty to look at and all, I guess, but body checks are memorable. It's just like my youth hockey coach told me (editor's note: Danny is referring to youth video game hockey here. He can barely f**king skate in real life.): "If you ain't hitting, then you'll be f**king sittin'!" In all seriousness, this is a dizzying amount of data, Tick, but it's really friggen interesting. Thank you for putting all of this together!
  19. These are graphs are friggen fascinating, @Tickenest. I don't know how to read them and/or what any of them mean, but thank you for putting them together, i'm sure someone will eventually be able to translate these to me whether I want them to or not, haha!
  20. I ran the math and what @koke_45 said actually checks out. So bet away!
  21. Can you bet on yourself?!?! Does a hobby horse have a wooden dick? Last time i checked this is still America, my friend: land of the free and home of more COVID cases than just about anywhere. You can do anything you damn well please! In fact it's practically encouraged!
  22. Welcome to the Playoff Preview for the C-Unit (SNES) 1st Round Series! This took quite a while and I’m too lazy to do another one, so you could say this will cover the entire playoff race. LFG! 1. Birdman8686 (PIT) - 1500 8. thatdrizzle (QUE) + 1500 Season Series (4-1 PIT) @birdman8686 must be a fan of dual-personality/schizophrenic celeb Miley Cyrus (AKA Hannah Montana), because he came into the C-Unit like a wrecking ball! Birdie’s Pittsburgh Penguins squad led the entire league in GF/G (6.08) AND in GA/G (2.88) and ended the regular season on a 17-game win streak en route to a 36-4 overall record. “HOLY s**t, BATMAN!” is right, Robin! He plays a solid two-way game and has been able to harness the power of both Jagr’s and “Super” Mario’s mullets while still unleashing the crushing 55 & 5 blueline tandem of Larry Murphy and Ulf (THE ULF) Samuelsson on any opponents not skating with their heads up through the middle of the ice. The Bird IS the word, and this is the clear team to beat going into the playoffs. Across the dot from Birdie is the man whose name just begs the question, “wait, which drizz?”. I’m of course referring to @thatdrizzle, whose Quebec Nordiques managed to sneak into the post-season in the last weekend of the regular season. Drizz is a lifelong genesis player, so the fact that he’s here in the post-season on the SNES is a feat in itself. The regular season matchup between these two teams was one-sided in Birdie’s direction, but in fairness to the Drizz, birdman got the best of pretty much everybody in the league this season. Drizz accomplished a lot in making the playoffs, but he’s running into a friggen buzzsaw in this matchup, and so… PREDICTION: PIT in 5 2. Straka82 (CHI) - 1000 7. DanK (VAN) + 1000 Season Series (2-2 tie, 2 OT) Here come @Straka82's Blackhawks, a team that was just as stingy on defense as they were hungry on offense. Straka coached his Hawks to an impressive 29-11 regular season record by leaning heavily on the wonderboy Jeremy Roenick and his heterosexual life partner, Steve Larmer, to put the biscuit in the basket on feeds from pretty much everyone else on the team. While not giving up much in their own end, Chicago’s heavy-hitting blueline tandem of “Smelly” Chelios and Steve Smith (the white one) got plenty involved in the offense with crisp passing to set up goals. And having Eddie the Eagle minding the net doesn’t hurt either. Straka knows what he has in this Blackhawks team and he’s got them firing on all cylinders headed into the playoffs. His opponent, the fiery ginger they call @DanK, is a bit of an enigma. When he’s on, he can play with most anyone in the C-Unit, but his inconsistency resulted in him showing up to the rink either severely inebriated or severely feeling the post-effects of said inebriation. DanK’s Vancouver squad is built for speed, and DanK likes to up the intensity even more by feeding Pavel Bure (#10), that little Russian ball of hate, plenty of AMPHETAMINES before each game. No one outside of Mogilny skates faster than Bure, and few little men (or big men) can hit as hard. Both coaches prefer an up-tempo, pass-heavy game, and they look to light the lamp via one-timers. Straka and DanK split their regular season series 2-2, with 2 games ending in OT and with each team holding court on their home ice. If DanK can control his urges (it’s just one measly week of games Danny, c’mon man, you can do this!), then this should be a barnburner of a series! PREDICTION: CHI in 7 3. Triple A (MTL) - 500 6. lego (NYR) + 500 Season Series (3-1 NYR) @Triple A is known to many around here of recent vintage as an organizer of leagues. He’s the guy who actually does the work that everybody else just sits around talking about doing, with/without our thumbs up our collective asses. He’s also the owner of the C league’s 3rd highest win% (.650), and his Montreal Canadiens (English: Mount Royal Inhabitants) have been scoring goals at a prolific rate all season long (6.08 GF/G). He plays well whether he’s at home or away (13-7 home/road records) and he feasted upon most all of his conference opponents to a 14-8 record amongst that group. However, within his conference, AAA had trouble with both birdman (join the f**king club) and with his 1st round opponent, @lego. Lego’s NY Rangers have been resting up and watching the rest of the league catch up since the 3rd day of regular season play. Lego completed his season faster than anyone, compiling a very respectable 23-17 record in the process. Since that time, Lego has been a replacement coach for about 12 other leagues/teams, so he’s not resting on his laurels. Lego took the season matchup here, but a lot of time has passed since then. Both coaches bring different squads into this series that I doubt will much resemble anything like in their regular season matchups. Assuming Triple A can keep the hamster that powers his internet connection to continue running on its wheel non-stop, this should be a great series, and one that I’m looking forward to watching as a spectator. PREDICTION: NYR in 7 4. mightyeskimo (WPG) + 100 5. blacktopkid (CGY) - 100 Season Series (4-0 WPG, 1 OT) [blacktopkid didn’t finish his season] @mightyeskimogrew up a yuuuuuuge Atlanta Thrashers fan, and he was absolutely devastated when the evil owner of the franchise, in collusion with Garold Bettman, decided to rip out his heart and move the franchise north of the border to Winnipeg, Manitoba. “Why do the Canadians get all the good stuff?”, he lamented. But absence makes the heart grow fonder and time heals all wounds (thanks, Captain Cliché), so he jumped at the chance to coach his former childhood heroes, the Jets. And coach them he did! Winnipeg’s record of 24-16 placed them amongst just 4 teams in the C-Unit to finish the season with a win% of .600 or higher. One man keeps the Jets flying high and that man is Teemu Selanne. Eskimo’s version of the Finnish Flash had 91 goals on the year and finished the regular season with a PTS/G avg of nearly 3 (2.875)! He was also no stranger to the Sin Bin, and the f**king jerk racked up almost 1 minute/game spent visiting the penalty box (32 mins total). @blacktopkid stampedes into the post-season with his thundering squad of Flames. I was actually going to make a pretty terrible joke here but even the pixelated version of Gary Suter scares the hell out of me, so I’ll shut my damn yapper and just say that Calgary can hit with the best of them and can take a beating on offense as well, often muscling in effort goals and capitalizing on 2nd and 3rd chances. I don’t expect this series to be as one-sided as was the two teams’ regular season matchups, which were dominated by the Mightiest of Eskimos (4-0). The key for the Jets is keep Selanne soaring around the ice making plays on net, and not finding himself drinking too much PowerAde™ in the box, waiting for his teammates to kill another penalty. Blacktop is the brother of @Triple A, and he managed to get the upper hand on his sibling 3-0 during their season series, so we know he can play. The question is, will the Flames be up for finishing their checks? Or will they do like their coach and leave opportunities out on the ice? (*the joke here is that blacktopkid only played 38/40 games, hence the whole “finish their checks” thing. Jesus tittyfucking Christ do I have to explain everything to you people?) PREDICTION: WPG in 6 ODDS TO FONDLE THE C-CUP (based on projected playoff path) birdman8686 (PIT) + 300 Straka82 (CHI) + 400 Triple A (MTL) + 550 mightyeskimo (WPG) + 1000 blacktopkid (CGY) + 1100 lego (NYR) + 1250 DanK (VAN) + 1450 thatdrizzle (QUE) + 2000 *Public Service Announcement: as @kingraph stated, always bet with your head, not your heart. If you have a gambling problem, like say you’re down 10 large to your guy in Philly and you REALLY need to pick a winner, for the sake of your own two (currently) functioning kneecaps, then we suggest you visit Las Vegas, NV (USA). The abundant towering casinos located there are home to any number of degenerate gambling addicts, who would be more than happy to give you some action for when you need to chase some bad $$ on a bet or even just for a hedge. Check it out!
  23. This is f**king dynamite! A big "Thank You" to @Triple A and @Xstioph for the doing the dirty work on the ROM and setting the league stuff up. Also i swear i didn't look at the updated team rankings when i picked, but I took Chicago bc i figured they'd at least be "better than good" since it's still '94 and b/c i'm a total Blackhawks homer who may have a had few soda-pops while watching the CHI-EDM series wrap-up from the cu playoffs this year. And it looks like i got pretty lucky in terms of my pick (counterpoint: if i can't pick well at #3 then i deserve my lot in life). Regardless, I'm really looking forward to this league and, as they say in Canada, "f**kin' Eh!" (At least that's what I've heard. I'm American, so i don't really know what they say in Canada b/c i'm not f**king allowed to travel up there at the moment haha)
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