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Jeremy Roenick Retires


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I cant believe this hasnt been posted yet.

But the legend of 94 himself, JR, Jeremy Roenick has officially retired.

jeremy-roenick.jpg

GP

1363

GOALS

513

ASSISTS

703

POINTS

1216

PIM

1463

PLAYOFFS

GP

154

GOALS

53

ASSISTS

69

PTS

122

PIM

115

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?...10&name=nhl

Adieu, pixilated legend: Jeremy Roenick was a video game god

Thursday, August 6, 2009 | Feedback | Print Entry

Posted by Patrick Hruby

Twenty years. Nine NHL All-Star Game appearances. Two Olympics. A staggering 1,216 points. Brutal checks and even more brutal honesty. Taken in total, a heck of a hockey career. But none of that is the real reason I'll mourn the retirement of Jeremy Roenick.

No, I'll miss Roenick marauding through "NHL '94" like an Abrams battle tank.

The pantheon of greatest video-game athletes generally consists of Bo Jackson from "Tecmo Super Bowl" and everybody else. This is a grave oversight. It should be Bo Jackson, Roenick and everybody else. Because while Roenick's digital doppelganger is best misremembered for making Wayne Gretzky's head bleed in "Swingers" -- actually, it was Steve Larmer -- the truth is that he was so much more: stealer of pucks, scorer of goals, fast and agile and uncheckable, a fight- and faceoff-winning Terminator sent from the future to destroy professional hockey -- before it could lock out an entire season and move half its franchises to puck-loving markets such as Phoenix -- one bleeding, twitching opponent at a time.

In an era of virtual legends -- preceded by Vince Coleman from "RBI Baseball" and Philadelphia QB #12 from "Madden '92;" succeeded by Pavel Bure from "NHL '95" and Michael Vick from "Madden 2005" -- Roenick reigned supreme. No pixilated player -- not even Bo -- has been responsible for more dorm-room and frat-house money changing hands. He was, in short, the 16-bit answer to suspense writer Peter Benchley's Architeuthis. The beast. Roenick could not be stopped, couldn't be contained; the only real way to slow him down was to turn offsides and penalties "ON." But who wants to play like that?

Unlike many of his on-screen peers, Roenick came by his success honestly. He wasn't godlike because of a programming glitch, à la dunk-from-the-3-point-line Tom Chambers in "Lakers vs. Celtics." He didn't thrive because of high ratings in a couple of categories that were overvalued by his particular game (Bure's speed, Vick's speed and arm strength). He lacked the ginned-up, CPU-controlled, can't-press-a-button-that-fast abilities of Mike Tyson in "Punch-Out!" Roenick wasn't even the highest-rated player in his game. He was simply an all-around stud without a weakness. Without peer. He could flatten an opposing winger with a head-on open-ice crosscheck, seize the puck in the same motion, outskate defenders the other way and blast a fake-middle, shoot-post wrister past the goalie with the same ease with which he won fights. What more could a gamer ask for?

Oh, and the great Tecmo Bo? Only played one way.

Double-Down Trent from "Swingers" was right. It was never about us, always about Roenick. He really was that good. And so, I bid him adieu. As long as there are Sega Genesis emulators -- note: these might be illegal; I'm speaking in a purely theoretical sense -- he will never be forgotten.

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Yeah I was surprised there was no eulogy for the fallen king. As an NHLPA '93 player I feel obliged to post what has probably been seen by everyone multiple times.

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I think we're all in shock and haven't quite absorbed it yet. Personally, I'm not even sure it's true -- the CBC story says he teared up at the press conference, but I'd believe Chuck Norris teared up before I'd believe Roenick did.

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It's sad that retirement has finally hung up the skates and went into Jeremy Roenick. But retirement should of seen it coming early on when Jeremy deke'd prematurely out of the womb and onto the rink.

Sad to see him go off into the red light yonder.. But I'm sure the Department Of Defense is happy to have him back at Area 51 where he can spend his golden years making crop circles with his slap shot, and can now resume teaching extra terrestrials how to speak braille.

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