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From the Woodwork: An Apology For Hokkefan

Wittgenstein (Pittsburgh, Pa, USA) April 9, 2010

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There came a time when I was in a league and John McDowell and Ludwig Wittgenstein happened, leaving me no time to play my league games. Realizing that I was behind on my games, Hokkefan sent me an IM, drunk, of course, and started to complain about how we had league games to play. After the complaining stopped, we started chatting about other stuff for the rest of the night.

After that night, Hokkefan and I would often chat on AIM; He would tell me how his games went and reflect upon the team that I drafted, as well as life in general. It is safe to say that we bonded and I am here today to tell what I learned about Hokkefan.

1. The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about Hokkefan is his innocence. Hokkefan is a simple man, a man of few needs. Give him a computer, a fifth of whiskey, and NHL94 and he'll be happy and entertained for the night. No, Hokkefan doesn't need drugs, women, or fame; he's a man of simple pleasures, like scoring a goal with Modano or making a big hit along the boards. And this is a characteristic that I admire about Hokkefan. While others are thinking about getting women and making money, Hokkefan is thinking about kicking back, taking a few shots, and spending the night with his love-- NHL94.

2. They say that some men will never have sex because they are married to the sea. This is how I feel about Hokkefan. Hokkefan captains an NHL94 ship. And I reckon Hokke's ship to the Ship of Theseus: It's been through rough waters, it constantly has to be rebuilt and repaired, and you never know what it will look like when it comes back to harbor. But there's one thing that you can know: The ship of Hokkefan will always be out there at sea night in and night out, trying to find it's place in the world and going on epic adventures.

3. Some wonder why Hokkefan has such bad manners. Let me tell you, it's because he is a savant. The guy is clearly autistic. But don't let that take away from what you think of Hokkefan. His social skills are lacking because he is an NHL94 genius. He scores inventive goals and sees the game like no one else. You think you see the play unfolding? Well, Hokkefan is three steps ahead of you; where you see a turnover, he sees a goal.

So, in conclusion, I full-heartedly endorse reinstating Hokkefan to NHL94.com.

Edited by Wittgenstein
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Don't think about hamburger.

wgovv9.jpg

That's how hard it's could be to keep hokkee from transforming into MJ thriller wolf - altered trade beast.

With a hokkee million man march the masses have spoken. I think it's up to Evan to be the swing vote as the impartial pillar of judicial equality.

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This message approved by the Dominion of Cannabis:

OhCannabis.jpg

should get bann for posting something illegal!

free hokee

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Hokkee has been given multiple chances to tell me what I want to hear. He has failed on every opportunity.

(9:48:54 AM) Hokkeefan2: booo to metz

(9:49:35 AM) Hokkeefan2: bringing up all dat old s**t

(12:38:43 PM) Hokkeefan2: alotta people pissed at u and wondering why u would bring up old bad s**t and attack me?

(12:38:51 PM) Hokkeefan2: doesnrt make sense

(12:39:16 PM) Hokkeefan2: especially when ur mia

(12:39:19 PM) Hokkeefan2: for a long time

(12:39:31 PM) Hokkeefan2: then just show up and sink the hokkee ship

(12:47:10 PM) metzgerism: you forgot

(12:47:20 PM) metzgerism: it's why we say it

(12:47:24 PM) metzgerism: our motto and creed

(12:47:48 PM) metzgerism: you self-ex-communicated yourself from the church of nhl94.com

(12:47:54 PM) metzgerism: you no longer believe I can see that now

(12:48:09 PM) metzgerism: let mark lesser have mercy on your thumbs

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Hokkee has been given multiple chances to tell me what I want to hear. He has failed on every opportunity.

(9:48:54 AM) Hokkeefan2: booo to metz

(9:49:35 AM) Hokkeefan2: bringing up all dat old s**t

(12:38:43 PM) Hokkeefan2: alotta people pissed at u and wondering why u would bring up old bad s**t and attack me?

(12:38:51 PM) Hokkeefan2: doesnrt make sense

(12:39:16 PM) Hokkeefan2: especially when ur mia

(12:39:19 PM) Hokkeefan2: for a long time

(12:39:31 PM) Hokkeefan2: then just show up and sink the hokkee ship

(12:47:10 PM) metzgerism: you forgot

(12:47:20 PM) metzgerism: it's why we say it

(12:47:24 PM) metzgerism: our motto and creed

(12:47:48 PM) metzgerism: you self-ex-communicated yourself from the church of nhl94.com

(12:47:54 PM) metzgerism: you no longer believe I can see that now

(12:48:09 PM) metzgerism: let mark lesser have mercy on your thumbs

you fail, if the things you speak trought aim has to be report on the boards, then i know at least 6 guys that you should bann

Seems like only the people who are inactive as f**k in leagues dont want hokke back on boards heh

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you fail, if the things you speak trought aim has to be report on the boards, then i know at least 6 guys that you should bann

Seems like only the people who are inactive as f**k in leagues dont want hokke back on boards heh

It's seems that you, too, have forgotten.
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JUST BRING HIM BACK.

In protest i will put 15 posts on this to pic in one week.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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They will be deleted along with this thread if it gets out of hand.

lol police :P

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I SAY

let him play in the league

don't let him post on the boards

OR

restrict his account so he can only post in a filtered forum that no one else has posting access to except for hokkee.

ALSO

if the Coyotes win the stanley cup, hokkee gets moderator privileges over the entire board.

Edited by statto
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why cant we have a subforum where anything goes, no censorship at all, complete freedom of speech (to a certain extent, obv no bashing other ppl etc..but be allowed to say f**k and s**t). Move all wack threads there, they can be closed or not.

Call it the dungeon or the basement, junk yard, garbage bin, anusville, or the house of GA.

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why cant we have a subforum where anything goes, no censorship at all, complete freedom of speech (to a certain extent, obv no bashing other ppl etc..but be allowed to say f**k and s**t). Move all wack threads there, they can be closed or not.

Call it the dungeon or the basement, junk yard, garbage bin, anusville, or the house of GA.

lolololol oooooooomggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaa

anusville house of the ga SUPER METROPOLITE LOLOLO WTGA PLAYOFFF YOU ARE SUPRE CRACK NUT WACK LORD OF MOFAPES MASTER OF AIDS

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18 members so far

what happens if the movement becomes bigger than the GDL league?

Edited by Freydey
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I'm not trying to tell anyone how to do their job, but a secret uncensored forum would be cool as long as it was password protected which would give everyone what they want.

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Hokkeefan has been given posting abilities again. Let's see how it goes. Worst case he just gets restricted again.

As far as an uncensored forum, do you guys really feel the need to go on here after a frustrating loss and just type out your anger (we know Hokkeefan used to)? If the search engines pick this up, it wouldn't be a good image for the community (password protected or not).

Anyway, goodluck to Hokkeefan on his posting return.

-Evan

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Hokkeefan has been given posting abilities again. Let's see how it goes. Worst case he just gets restricted again.

As far as an uncensored forum, do you guys really feel the need to go on here after a frustrating loss and just type out your anger (we know Hokkeefan used to)? If the search engines pick this up, it wouldn't be a good image for the community (password protected or not).

Anyway, goodluck to Hokkeefan on his posting return.

-Evan

if it's password protected, search engines can't pick up the contents of the subforum

(not really a fan of the uncensored forum idea, myself -- ironically it's kind of childish)

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Hokkeefan has been given posting abilities again. Let's see how it goes. Worst case he just gets restricted again.

As far as an uncensored forum, do you guys really feel the need to go on here after a frustrating loss and just type out your anger (we know Hokkeefan used to)? If the search engines pick this up, it wouldn't be a good image for the community (password protected or not).

Anyway, goodluck to Hokkeefan on his posting return.

-Evan

The Hokkefan movement really thanks you for giving the man a 2nd..or 3rd chance, we all hope he make good use of it

GGs!!

B)

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Holy drama..I hit the guy up on AIM and he was helpful and friendly to the noob...didn't talk any smack, played 5 games or so. :)

thats him, SOBER.

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  • 9 months later...

THIS IS A SCANDAL!

After all the work the movement did to stop the Hokke discrimination, theres still some people in this community that are not respecting the NHL 94 mascott, and these people are the GDL Bettmans!!

''Everyone is permitted to make as many trades as they want, except Hokkee, who is limited to 3 total. ''

WHAT??

DISCRIMINATION, THE MOVEMENT WONT ALLOW THAT

:anger:

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I did it to protect myself, first and foremost. Over half of my GDL drafts got put in the blender after he whispered those four sacred, cursed, intoxicating words in my ears: "lets make a deal" (really more like 'ok I get Roenick you get Lanfontaine Roy Belfour Fuhr Mogilny and my 12th round pick' IT ALWAYS SOUNDS SO GOOD AT FIRST)

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