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Uncle Seth vs Dcicon Series


kingraph

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Game 1: Dcicon comes out of the gate like a wild bull. Fuhr stands on his head, Mogilny and LaFontaine tear it up. The Detroit D are scrambling to hunt down the speedster while trying to contain the stupid-good stickhandling and agility of Patty L. Hawerchuck is a major nuisance all game. Detroit fights back with potent offense, but it was not to be. A gazillion line changes and goalie changes make no difference. Dcicon takes game one 6-5. Series is 1-0 Buffalo.

Game 2: Seth finds his footing and with another high scoring affair, has the game nearly sealed with a one-goal lead. Little time is left in the 3rd, we're talking like 20 seconds, which translates into like 8 seconds of real time. Seth is clinging to the lead, feeling a little uneasy about the last ticks. Dcicon gets the puck with about 15 seconds left at his own blue line. Bombs away to Alex? Nope. He dumps it in the corner, races there with Mogilny and with 5 seconds left he slides it to Patty Lafontaine. This guy doesn't miss inside of 10 feet. Buries it. OT time. It may have been a rocket, or a bottle rocket, who knows....but in OT some curly haired Russian flew down the wing and beat whoever was in net wearing red. Game over. 7-6 Buffalo win. Seth is getting nauseous and the tums aren't quelling the buildup of acid that's quickly rising past Adam's apple level. Epic collapse. Series is 2-0 Buffalo.

Game 3: Much tighter D all around. Dino Ciccarelli, maybe the best shooter in the game, decides it's time to lose his acuracy with an open net. Game was close the entire time. Fuhr still playing good, and the game of musical chairs continues in net for Detroit. One blows, the other tosses salads. The incessant line changes by Seth are indicative of his tense demeanor and inability to settle down. A little under 2 minutes and Buffalo has a 1 goal lead. Desynch time!!!!!!!!! Yay. Finally the game is replayed by fixing the score the same as before and waiting until the same time appears left on the clock. These guys aren't f**king around with a sticher. Seth can't figure out how to even save more than 1 game at a time. Anyway, when the action resumes, the score stays the same and Dcicon takes game 3 by one goal. Ouch. Three one-goal game losses for Uncle and Dcicon is sitting pretty. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping and the porn is hi-def. By now, Seth had sweat all of his electrolytes out. Running on fumes and thinking about inhaling them if he gets swept. Series is 3-0 Buffalo.

Game 4: The noose is tied. How can Seth ever show his face again if he gets swept. Dcicon is licking his chops, ready to send Seth home for good. Ready to shut this loudmouth a**hole once and for all, to the cheers of many that are rooting for this to happen. Pack your bags Auth Seth? Another high-scoring affair with terrible D and goaltending or relentless offense, you decide. But this time, with his back to the wall, Seth made a change. You see, Dino had been playing like a dinosaur all series. Not getting many goals and being stripped of the puck all nightmare long by those horses on the Buffalo blueline. It was time for him to sit his hairy ass on the bench. Whaaaaaat, what kind of an idiot benches Dino? And then takes Lidstrom out of the lineup too. Konstantinople goes on D, and pounds shots of cheap Vootka between periods. Deserve to lose if you pull those moves right? Hey, Drake ain't no chump though. However, with nothing to (lose except his confidence, reputation) Seth finally wins a game. Final score, 8-7 Det. Luck be a lady tonight, Seth is still alive, but barely. Series is 3-1 in favor of Buffalo.

Game 5: A blowout in Seth's favor, final score 7-1 or 7-2. The only lopsided game of the series so far. These things happen. Was Seth getting hot or was Dcicon just cooling off a little bit? Only the hockey gods know for sure. Both players are happy that the Buffalo song didn't play a lot that game. You can only take so much of it. Fire that organ man please! Where's the variety? How about a little "For he's a jolly good fellow" or "da na na na, nah nah...charge" in your repertoire sir! Mix that s**t up bruh.

Series is 3-2 in favor of Buffalo.

Game 6: Score forgotten (problems loading). But it was a close game. Back in Detroit, the home of American engines, Kid Rock, Gang-bangers and Octopussies on ice. Seth takes game 6 to force a game 7. Heading back to Buffalo, both teams try to keep their mind off of what lies ahead. Dino pleads with his coach to come back into the lineup and Fuhr is like "ain't no way you're putting Draper in, so you're stuck with me". Series is tied 3-3.

Game 7: Winner takes all. Loser takes the fall (Sammy Hagar, theme song from the Stallone classic "Over the Top"). Anyhow, at the end of this series, someone is going to feel good, and the other bad. No two ways about it. Players wish each other good luck and the biscuit is dropped. The Buffalo crowd is electric. Rick Jeanerette is scowling over the microphone with every Buffalo possession. Back and forth, the teams trade lasers. Seth gets a lead, then it's tied. Dino makes his appearance again and Drake comes out. Mooooooooooore line changes for Seth. This guy goes here, that guy goes there. Dcicon, being somewhat a normal human, keeps his tried and true players in. Midway through the 3rd, Seth takes a 1-goal lead. The intensity of this game and the entire series is coming to a crescendo. Seth glances at the clock every 30 seconds. Tick you motherfucker!!!!!! Ut oh, here comes the booooooooooooom. Buffalo strikes again. Mogilny and LaFontaine connect for the umpteenth time and jack off in the crease as the red light glares. Another goaltending change for Detroit and Drake whispers "f**k you Bowman" under his breath because Dino didn't back check (but he wouldn't have hunted down that russian in blue anyway). Dead even at 6 goals apiece. Tick tock, tick tock, the guys on the bench are pooping their panties. Oh no, overtime. Sudden death and sudden life. Who gets what, we shall see. Early in OT Detroit trips someone and no call, gets possession of the puck. Racine sends it down the left wing to Fedorov. A couple little moves and he races for the slot. Here comes the slapper or will he look to one-time it to Stevey-Y? Shoot at all times, that's the name of the game in OT. Now Fedorov isn't the best shooter in the game, but in this case, he wound up and blasted one just past the shoulder of Fuhr. Game over, series over. Detroit wins it in 7.

Aftermath:

Handshakes are exchanged between Seth and Dcicon. A super hard fought series on both ends. An offensive war if you will and a battle of wills that were only decided by 1 goal. Seth gained major respect for Dcicon and Dickon probably doesn't hate Auntshit as much as before. The trash talking is ended for good. Wow, what a battle. Could have gone either way. Seth puts the noose away and lives another day. Dcicon proved he is absolutely A caliper, and Seth is probably A too, but still an A-hole. Despite what it may look like, this was not a collapse. Seth didn't s**t the bed in the beginning of the series and Dcicon didn't s**t the sheets towards the end. There are no excuses. These were 2 guys putting their asses on the line in the name of competition and pride.

But this is just one season. Surely the boys will meet again. Congrats to both for putting the pedal to the metal finally.

Edited by Uncle Seth
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am I not allowed now? can someone other than plabax please explain?

Nah I mean there is no reason for him to not play in both Classic or GDL, this is what I mean by saying you shouldn't have less A players in leagues. You have also never played in either league so you can't be going around telling people what to do. It's easy to play GDL until you can't play classic for an hour, Just play enough GDL games until you will be leaving in less than an hour.

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Great write up for what sounded like a crazy series. 0-3 hole comeback is HUGE! dont know

That its ever been done in a final and only handful of times overall.

You guys should both be in A and let true B players battle it out and have a shot at a title.

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Guest goursie19

Nah I mean there is no reason for him to not play in both Classic or GDL, this is what I mean by saying you shouldn't have less A players in leagues. You have also never played in either league so you can't be going around telling people what to do. It's easy to play GDL until you can't play classic for an hour, Just play enough GDL games until you will be leaving in less than an hour.

I see what you're saying and you're right. but at the same time I was just using common sense without really knowing the full extent of what these leagues are about, my bad.

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APTOPIX_Vatican_Pope.JPEG-034c5.jpg

we have sign that a winner has been named. it should be announced shortly (?)

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

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Great write up for what sounded like a crazy series. 0-3 hole comeback is HUGE! dont know

That its ever been done in a final and only handful of times overall.

You guys should both be in A and let true B players battle it out and have a shot at a title.

Will never happen. There are always going to be guys who aren't the best at their own level who will prefer to drop down, beat up on the lower level guys then strut around talking about how great they are

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One thing I forgot to mention: Dcicon shut down the my Detroit 1-timer
offense down almost completely, nearly every game. Major feat for
anyone considering we're talking Fedorov, Yze and Dino up front. And no matter which division he chooses to enter next season,
he's still a great player. This was the hardest series I've ever been
in. He's upped his game since the regular season. This was a run &
gun theater.

PS, hilarious pic choice Witt!

Edited by Uncle Seth
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that's not irony, it's coincidence.

looks like you kids had quite the battle. will you move up to A, or is it, as suggested, that you'd rather win they play the better opponents?

also, I can never figure this out: why would somebody need numbers in their boardname? it's not a password. were the first five thousand dcicon's already taken? how do you pronounce dcicon? DEE CEE EYE CON? DEE PSYCH ON? DICKIE CON?

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