clockwise Posted September 6, 2014 Report Share Posted September 6, 2014 The following is a collection of Kaillera chat logs from 2on2 game play. I began collecting them when the 2on2 league was in it’s infancy, about 6 years ago, way back in 2006. The plan was to make some highlight videos and use the quotes to accompany the highlights, or hilarious lowlights that frequently occur during games. That plan fell through when my old hard drive crashed and I failed to backup the text file. In 2008, I began, again, saving some of the the chats from epic, marathon 2on2 sessions for shits and giggles. Much of the stuff is post-2on2.org league games, and mostly just haphazardly setup scrimmages, when who ever was available, played. It’s actually how 90% of the matches are setup, since it’s extremely difficult to get 4 people online at the same time for league games – and it’s what led to the eventual demise of the original league (as you’ll see in a moment). So, in a way, this chat log probably encapsulates the essence of 2on2 better – or worse. If you aren’t a 2on2 OG, and don’t recognize that banner above from the web site, then here’s a little history on the origins of 2on2 from the old site. A Briefer History of 2on2 2on2.org home page said: 2on2.org is another appendage in the ever expanding NHL ’94 community of online gamers. It’s common ground where enthusiasts who play this niche version of the game can compete in an online league and have fun. 2on2 was spawned in April of 2006 as a result of the ill-fated, and now defunct, NHL ’94 Cup Chase. At the demise of the Cup Chase, there was speculation, postmortem, about how to fill the void of this league. I was introduced to a version of NHL ’94 by Tickenest, where there are two skaters per team, and really liked with the style of play. Tickenest had entertained the idea of resurrecting his Cup Chase with a ROM that only had one or two skaters per team. I took the onus myself to create several versions of this ROM with equalized ratings in hopes that it would help the league reestablish itself. As it turns out, Tickenest’s Cup Chase couldn’t be revived, and it looked like my efforts were all for naught. A week or two after the fall of the Cup Chase, I had convinced some of the guys from thee NHL ’94.com forum to give some of the short sided ROMs I edited a shot. The initial reaction was underwhelming, and there really wasn’t any serious interest in them. Someone on the forum (whom, I don’t remember) quipped, "doesn’t Kaillera support multi-tap?". It was an unknown at the time because Gens itself support four-way play. To my delight it did, and I had a blast playing a tightly contested series of games. After the multi-tap discovery, 2on2′s popularity blew up and generated a lot of interest in the format from the community. That popularity led to the notion of a 2on2 league, which was met with some reservations. Even with all the games guys were playing, it was (and still is) something of an oddity. Never the less, HABS and I collaborated on a inaugural 2on2 campaign that was comprised of 6 teams, or 12 players, and we logged scores by posting results in the old 2on2 league thread.. It actually was a very successful season, and the Penguins took home the hardware in the finals, defeating the Kings in 4 games. I left out the part where the league capsizes due to the difficulty of getting everyone online at the same time, but 2on2 is alive and kicking, 6 years later. I’d like to offer some words of warning to anyone who is not familiar with the game, before reading the Kaillera log. This is what NHL’94 looks like when it’s put in a spoon and held over a candle. What you are about to, “read”, reflects the frenetic, high-tempo, bat-s**t crazy game that is 4 player, 2on2. It’s nearly impossible to communicate coherently when playing 2on2, since, if you do take the time to type something for more than 2 seconds, chances are you’ll get beat off the draw, giving the opposition a breakway. Also, the text is from many, many games, combined into one file, and it’s difficult to follow. I sincerely apologize to all of mankind. Kaillera 2on2 Chat Log we played 2on2 with new guuga IQ25 huhu thats houl neinein he was playn classic unless hes super talented or mutant 4hands LOL MUTANT LMAO GAGA table for 2v2? im macho man NEED A LITL EXCITEMENT?!?!?! ART THOU BORED? how we lose that i was on the winning team though LOL YOU WERE ON OTHER TEAM you didnt lose you were the last winner man lol you’ve put together a solid season for 1st time yeah i jog for practice and punch the wind on the freeway exhaust fumes in my lungs gets me hyped for fisting by 20 goals lol slow down nooooo shoot out camon let me pick a team lol menu rage we are marked for life man thats insane lagolas unbelievable they should make a movie about us lolol because we are so crazy on sega that was getting painful ben gay balls feels better i think hurt his feelings orly he bolted whats his aim he just wanted to be a part of the group lol wat damn now he’ll listen to linkin park loooool and be filled with rage good intro lose by 11 fire baptise jesus take it easy on newbs or they wont come back mongo dont know own strength polite + donnybrook = boston beaners team HOSE OF PAYNE JUMPAROUND haha this new guys come outa nowhere who sarcdoc ?? he asked me out of the blue for a 94 gm sourdough and sent him 2on2 like 3 days ago now hes on more than hokkee 2on2 is gateway drug terminator salvation bots 2v2? joinnnn laaagggg to slow to play gg gagaa ggs bak to the zoo apes lag like a mother etch a sketch connections thegr8199kings Desynched jesusplaysnhl94 Desynched IAmFleury’sHipCheck Desynched HABS Desynched nothings happninggggg press starrt camannnnn wait for other members to join u dick insert coins loll lag is what made tyson bite evanders ear off OM NOM stop goalie control u damn dirty ape comebaksss STOP GC asdfasdfsadf gg asdfasdfasdgrga fukk biggest lead blown job ever 7 goals he is gorillas brother separated at birth lol brb banana bread burning lolll lol wtf? banana bread 2am? brb prune the shrubs 2am aka pubes MAX4000 Desynched DIED max 4000 sounds like a laxative LOL hahaah ggg switch teams? no gota flow go’n SWITCH PANTS sotp replays replays kill babies passing to max is like handing ear phones to a deaf person lOll gaaaaaaa GET DOWWWWWN ASTA LA VEESTA CALLYFORNYAHHANA DOOO IT CMANNN DO IT NOW PUT THAT COOKIE DONW lool u see vid of arnold smoking da weed SMOKING THE JOINT that was prolly 1oz joint arnnold so big it looks like tooth pick he was mr universe lou looked pretty jacked too LOU FRIGGN’NO? yea arnold + stalone haha contra the movie! they are on the cover rarrrr a winrar is u contra was the best game for nes besides ice hockey nes was good toaster need to bring back that style console haha yea who is 4th? poltie polite not answering call waiting CMAAAAAA hes on milk carton lol like oven in here cook bacon on pc tower WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF BROONS ON MY TELEVISION SCREEN SUPER TRAPON phone ringng camonnn phone sex later CANES CANT SCORE TWO fuc heat burn tires in fire place lool camon tuba crisco tim thomas was 1 hit wonder back to slap shot lool whos 4th wheel frey is welcome to the party pal yippe kiyay mofoapes JOIN U HANS GRUBERS jack edwards makes cookies in tree houses in off season loooool WHAT U’VE GOT AIDS aids of spades lol gA FREYDEY NO RESPONDO freydey doesn’t care about 2on2 ppl hes at work BOSTON BRYANS CLINCH who wins in fight spud webb or jack edwards loool YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA looool gg thought we were sedin double mint twins for sec there setup wise LOLLLLLL own goal HE s**t IT IN HIS OWN NET boyle :L good D you hammer lick I HATE HAMRDICK lool whos lagging not me 2 prong outlets haha GOAL so what WATA A SAVE goal line super man unbelievable robo saves I AM ROBOT lol back2back strategyyyy like jackie chan and chris tucker yes lol SAKICS HEATING UP joejoe the idiot circus boy! lol gooooo wtgaga unpause 1 sec door zzzzz wat kind of door you have jaw bridge CAMON GO IM DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBLE IM A COP U IDIOT haha NICE SAVE TURDCO no more manual goalie lol wat a goon WOWA 90% SHOT ACCURACY wesley sniped LOOK YOURE ON TV lolll STRAIGHT CASH HOMIE std server unbanned u? FREE DAY haha free hat youre rodney king of 2on2 whers 4th? wheres houlihoop burning the house down or something gg GAA what team am i on? oilers ur lw no i mean who am i with youre with stupid HAHAHA 1st and 3rd 2nd and 4th to join are teams thx camonnn crash the net more? 1 more gm series 2-3 so ok 1 more gm after next 5 wtga too much d never had ot tie before call guinness no happen before there was a scoreless gm once in the time before ga liesss swear dont move your guy why GOOOGO testing something ok one sec i test lol fuk u LOL wtga goal scoring test :/ screw u guys im going home lol dude too much dry humping like avery stop hooking and get open in the slot i come from long line of dirty hookers i cant help it well go against the grain and dont blow it YOU WORK CORNER FOR 2ON2 stop talk play now lolllllll thats crazy speed burst check haha fire up the crack pipe k stop replay no rapeplay is good dude go already 100000 john madden circles brettt favreeeee f**king lame * Dropped: Rantoro (Player 3) LOL 1 hour for 1 gm :/ get stunt double whos on? bo’s on get what about stanish? who SATANISH dont see takeyourpill on nvm whack a mole nobody avail bah 5 4 3 2 1 0 OFFBLAST ggggs ggs ffs gg DMAC STICK TO THE PLAN ok whats the plan maximum suction lol goooo k lakers gonna win again bah nba finals on tnt with gnarles barkley no body care about cricket games lol crakit whos 4th thats my license plate says WHO ask hokke no ull be traded to ny isles on a 12 yr deal with garth snow lolol dadonch on get someone neeedd ggammesssesese orr = god mode ratings same? ya old rom had ultra t-1000 orr someone roars bobby orrs wtf why roy not on habs cause its richard beliveau gggasga no more nj they mickey mouse operation use north stars and atlana flamers deported teams why you guys have to cheat WTF cheat? its obvious ur cheating cant cheat everyone has to have the same rom then its a code lol game genie 2on2 youre paranoid sungod if we were cheating you would of lost by 100 haha its your team then fine pick the same team mirror match all ratings homogenized HOMO RATINGS YOU RAT lets see you talk s**t in classic lets go right now you dare challenge GENS F CHAMP???? LOL ggg gg bobby clarke was on mission FAKE flyers cant win without fights good gc bernieee parent gg gggg GADSGAGSGG wow WATA POST snake bitten MOST POSTS ALL TIME i counted 5 north stars are post master generals impotence YOU SUCK BELLOWS GG gg GG gg PENALTY 2 MINUTES SHOOTING PUCK OVER GLASS thats bettman rules f**k buttman play with your feet for 2 mins lolol ya delay of GA LOLOL lol we turned panic mode on D no comebacks jebus OT bolder time LEROYYYYY JENKINSSSSSSSSSSSS WOOH GG nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yesssssssssssssssssssssssss GAAAAAAAAAA OBYRNE AND BERGERON IN D paul korean 1st star lolll gggg VGG yee GG double goalie check picked up the spare looool WOWOW WE GOT HOSED 2 GOALS 18 SEC pretty clutch unpause OT now NO MUST SAVOR take polaroid and go POLISHROIDS OMG dis stink kicking motion KICKKKK HOW MANY KICKS dis allow koharski HAVE ANOTHER DOUGHNUT sally the camel had 6 DICKS KICKS loll THATS MOST OBV KICK ggg gege gaaaaggs GG LOOOL WATTA STEAL interception! *tecmo bowl music selke please WTGA throw the golve next time scott fartsmell FART SMELL jesusplaysnhl94 Desynched JARO HALAK Desynched habs Desynched someone threw shoes on the power lines jaro robs join spock check 4chek 4check lol wtf happned to goalie puck was loose whole time cheese ram holmstrom 2on2 WTGA COMEBACKS GG qq well hump a cactus 4-0 mikita owns OWNS A FORD ESCORT u made chicago indian man cry tobacco tears THATS 2ON2 HISTORY WIL BE MADE move red leader why not moving GO k back ITS A TRAP ON LOL be toking too much between periods lol TIN TOKER I NEED TOKE hookah rask lol HORN GM OVER i need that horn for my moped ggg GG GAGAS gg BASTARDS double stastny attack DO IT LIVE BILL ORALLY trade stastny twins for olson twins lol how the hell we lost too many picasos need to crash the net f**k RUBIC CUBES CRASH NET LIKE SUNNY BONO lol ggs whyd he quit i pissed him off i thik its only 6 am haha he mad send him exploding cigar all better now he must train to improve has to watch kovalev videos now LOL NO skate like this through the vodka pylons TRAIN LIKE BILL CROSBY lol IS THERE A BILL CROSBY STATUE IN PITTSBURGH yes its called a urinal pisspots NEXT TIME ULL BE DOOMED doomed 3d doomed 64 DOOM SNES :0 * Joins: * Parts: * Joins: * Joins: * Starting: nhl942on2 (2/4) - press “Drop” if emulator fails zalex picked this wtf I WAS ON ITUNE WAT THERS NO ITUNE 94 ipog SHUT UP **** U IN WRONG SERVR lol wtga unpause wtf /p2pon crash pas tlt ca wack LOL MORE CRASHOR THIS IS f**king WACK lool super PP gg loool 3 on 1 lmao lol new svr this s**t wack hardtoopen.ytmnd.com wheres habs yes where is he? dccomics is on get issue 94 of what dc or marvel marvel NHL 94 THE MARVEL MOVIE in 3D based on a real story that i made up chris walken as shaq LOL hokkefan as danny tanner PLAY U APES arnold schwartz as president of the united states of quebexico awesome quebexico u are a drunken lush LOL winter classic 2v2? everyone play outside with extension cord lol does evan stil post no once a yr he prob hates us now it was mr evans neighboorhood we made it ghetto exacto we should all oppolgize to evan i gave 15 dollars of weed to a bum dressed like santa lol wtf could of been undercover black santa i know him see him every time i go there hes a bum? yea where he get santa suit if hes a bum? i dunno hes outside bar all the time never goes in i gave him redballs he’s probably on the radio now LMAO yea there are some smart homeless guys hes a coke head tho haha he showed me pics of house a party they rented a midget wow yea coke head right there lol where the fuk do you rent a midget? ask homless santa you gotta know other homeless santa coke heads to know lol avg ppl dont know that s**t http://pixelpuck.com/?p=2162 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickenest Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 Yes! Shoutout to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokkeefan Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 (edited) Edited September 7, 2014 by hokkeefan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokkeefan Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 (edited) Edited September 7, 2014 by hokkeefan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokkeefan Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 just a super hero ego maniac pass shot contest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smozoma Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 unpause 1 sec door zzzzz wat kind of door you have jaw bridge Nearly burned myself on my chili Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clockwise Posted September 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 just a super hero ego maniac pass shot contest Show me, on the doll, where 2on2 touched you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zalex Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Haha, this is great. 2on2 chats couldn't be more WACK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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