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The Legend of Dmac

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Last episode, we touched on the legend of GorillaGC. Now, we explore the bizarre, sudden and mysterious disappearance of Dmac, a 2on2 regular and all around guy before his disappearence.


On the night of 20XX, a spirited game of 2on2 was being played by jesusplaysnhl94, IAmFleurysHipCheck, gr8199, and Dmac. There was nothing unusual about this game between the Canucks and Red Wings, in fact, you could even say it was normal with just average lagolas. 


Dmac, being a Pavel Bure super fan, would always play LW with the Cancuks, so that he could be in control of his favorite player on his favorite team.


During the intermission, Dmac commented that he had, 'Orville Redenbacher's Ultimate Butter' - with loads of flavor and real butter, it's no wonder why we call it the ultimate. And the ultimate for sharing! - popcorn in the microwave. There was gibberish in the chat log, as usual, about snacks and someone called gr8199 a Hebrew Nationalist for talking about hot dogs. I don't really remember, it was like, 8 years ago, but I remember that part about hot dogs.


Then, the game resumed. I remember the game being close, and that pretty much all of the goals were scored on dekes. Midway through the period, the game was paused, suddenly (as most pauses are). Everyone was angry since it was close and there was only a minute or two on the game clock.

There was total silence from Dmac. It is believed that he went to go get the popcorn, and in his lust for Pavel, he had grand visions of going down a water slide of clarified butter into giant pool of popcorn along with Bure on a double inner tube, while he feasted on Orvilles Ultimate Butter kernels, but no one knows for sure, as no one has ever heard from him again. Dmac desynched for life.


He was last spotted wearing a Pavel Bure jersey, hundreds of miles away from home in the city of San Francisco. Eye witnesses say, that while Dmac wasn't born in San Francisco, he was reared there.


Join us next time, for the conclusion to the sudden 2on2 rage quit and untimely disappearance of Sungod, who mysteriously vanished after accusing other players of cheating in 2on2 with hacks, and then used his Gens F championship to legitimize his dispute.




For Legends of 2on2, I'm Robert Stack. Stack the pads that is.

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your style is weird, but that was almost funny. are you saying the guy legit disappeared and has not ever logged back in? if so, that's creepy. maybe eerie is the better term. butter-clogged arteries? butter-greased slippage on a tile floor? choked on a kernel?

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Thanks for unlocking nightmares from gradeschool clockwise.

I just listen to the theme song, and now I think I will be moving back in with my parents and sleeping on the floor of their room.

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how did you embed the music? I tried quoting your post and looking for it, but I don't see anything giving it away.

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I didn't hear the sound the first time I viewed this on my iphone so I wasn't getting what segathon was talking about. Then I clicked on the link again at home and the music starts playing. Had a big laugh on that one. Clock that was great!

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