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it seems that my old account's ban has expired.  for a while it was in a category of members called "tru," made solely to eliminate me, but that seems to have been changed.  this post is an inquiry about these issues.  am I allowed to come back?  can we discuss what happened that got us here in a logical and literal manner without letting the caricature made of me dictate the reactions?  are the moderators self-conscious and able to put prejudice aside in examining what transgressions I stand accused of and what proof exists that doesn't need to be filtered through bias to achieve the desired results of removing an active and generous member and killing an entire subsection of the community?  the whole thing was false-flaggy and propagandy and I was silenced rather than offered any method of defense.  I feel like you'd have DrP1zza back before rewelcoming me.  think about the tremendous bias that must exist to allow belligerent trolls and deliberate saboteurs routinely renewed access but permanently remove a guy who taught, advised, offered, gave of his efforts and time and produced actual ROM-hack content multiple times per season for six solid years.  I must have killed somebody, ruined lives, stolen valuables, touched the untouchables, yeah?  dangerous is the mob rule which lets bad science propagate and has valid dissent met with violence.  do people that question popular false narratives make you angry?  do challenges to the status quo incite your uncontrollable rage?  MAYBE you should not hold power, then.  please understand that my eloquent but very gentle trash talking A DECADE AGO led the cool-kids club to paint me as an enemy I only am if their story holds no truth.  check the emperor's closet, too.  and of course feel free to flip through this account's history.  some of its helpful posts were deleted to shave off my insistence on my own personal integrity, but I do admit that similarly my purported transgressions were also sometimes deleted, most often because they were defensible and honest, which flies slappingly in the faces of repression and censorship.  if you chase this profile back to the playful rivalry days, you may see a shift where I was reacting to the actual bullying that came back.  if you judge me there/then, I get it.  but then also look at the Tru account's history.  I made a strong effort to rebrand myself to not fit the caricature so demeaningly made of me.  that made things worse, for every positive stride was met by a tide of staff action against me, culminating in a permanent ban made entirely by justifications against the straw man I disclaim and the vitriolic "responses" from the moderating team.  ban this account again or whatever, but PLEASE leave this valid critique of the process intact.  I have done plenty else with my time, but it is a shame which y'all should wear obviously that SNES hacking dried up with the unjust execution of the figurehead.  I was never who you wanted me to be.  I hope it suited your needs to not have an active SNES hacking community.

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This post in it of itself is your answer. 

You don't need to stand on a soapbox delivering some kind of Shakespearean soliloquy about your own history.  Nobody cares about that.

Have you read through the forums recently?  There hasn't been any trolling/nonsense in YEARS.  If you want to work and post about SNES hacks, go for it.  It will be helpful and engaging.  No need for this or other trolling posts.  It's really quite simple.

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Raph said it all. Make another 5 accounts if you want. Nobody cares. Instead of complaining, contribute.

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I see the brush is still painting extra wide.  I am trolling/complaining by asking if I am allowed back?  I should just jump right back into contributing like I wasn't permabanned?  it's like being mad at Kaepernick for not having scored any touchdowns this season.  I waited to respond to this without emotion:  it is objectively victim blaming and the kind of "repeat the fake news until it becomes real" stuff that got us here in the first place.  you are asking me to participate fairly while implying that my asking the same of you was over the line?  can you not see this without the bias?  it really seems not.  I would love to get back to speed around here, but plenty of relearning would be in my future before I can feel like I am properly contributing again, so...  in the meantime I am going to bump up against replies like these above and the overall caricaturizing they are part of.  my use of the forums as I get back to it can't include pointing out the big pink mountain?  then I'll again not be allowed the honesty and space needed to achieve the results y'all seem to demand I realize/actualize with instantaneous success and change how I am perceived in the minds of others regardless of my intent.  it is not solvable alone, right?  when the pushback to my mere existence and normal use of communication forums is ugly, I am to grin and take my punishment for being misunderstood?  I believe that it requires that y'all not project a soapbox under my feet, not superimpose your nastiness over my good intent.  I am always trying.  I was never a troll no matter how much you want to insist that I was.  I certainly feel like I have plenty to complain about with the way I have been treated here and I am posting carefully to see where we are at.  (I know where I am at.)  I think I see where you are at.  I was hoping to be more impressed with the maturity and levelheadedness of key staff/members.  "he comes in peace?!  get him!"  it is old.  you can be indifferent without perpetuating the problematic bias that prompts me to offer any given soliloquy.  I find it to be disingenuous to proclaim that you want me to overcome the barriers you build while claiming to be altruistic and disinterested.  it just doesn't come across as honestly real.  please know that I am always honest with y'all.  if we do not address the problems, are we not doomed to get mired in the negativity again?  I don't want to come back and not be allowed to express myself reasonably.  in the weeks before I was permabanned, I wasn't allowed to post in threads I created, in whole sections I fueled, in my areas of wasted expertise.  I shall have a harsh learning curve to overcome -- please don't unnecessarily burden the process with accusing my content of being trolling, dangerous, worthy of censorship.  I am not who you see me as and I never was.  it took a coordinated effort to create the character which I refuse to play.  my refusal to be the shitty person you want me to be is NOT trolling.  self defense being illegal is a sign of an immoral governance.  if you are infallible by definition and I am a troll by my mere presence, you are letting the actual trolls define trolling for you.  real bullies have popularized having a problem.  the problem was never me, but it is still clearly made partially of my recognition of an active bias and its effects.  here it is still having its way.  don't be so low.  and where is the harm in letting me express myself about what happened and what I see as how/why?  I think it can make us better.  passionate community members are a cherished commodity elsewhere.  it didn't go well for me here in the past.  I aim to have that change, but it won't unless y'all want it to because it is not just a me problem.  please join me in the widest good intent that we can manifest.  demonstrate it through dropping the seething disdain?

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Stop posting stupid diatribes that no one bothers to read.

 

You were banned because you were slandering. On top of that, you made multiple accounts (which you still have). There's your answer.

 

No one cares anymore. Go ahead and post. Don't cause trouble, you won't be banned. That's the rule. 

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slander!  wow -- I don't think you know what that word means.  (that truthful belief expressed is not slander, by the way.)  I made an account Tru to try to move on from y'all having the vendetta.  when Trudatman was showing 1994 posts, I put it down.  I currently only have access to this account, but I would wish to switch over to the other one if I recover it.  we can do stuff?  that's good.  I have no wish for trouble.

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These rants were why you were eventually banned. You were actually given a lot of leeway and space, not just because you contributed ROMs etc. Also your "rebranding" was noted and appreciated.

So your asking if the mods are "self-conscious" enough to evaluate things is ironic considering your above posts are exactly what got you banned before. "demonstrate it through dropping the seething disdain?" There has never been a blacker pot.

You remember that you managed to start an argument on the KHL plane crash thread, right? We're not the root of the problem. It's your lack of social skills. We tried to accommodate, egg shells were walked on. But eventually enough was enough, when you went off into these conspiracy-theory, freeman-on-the-land-esque rants. Just.. stop? You aren't going to be able to recover cordiality with absolutely everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone is out to get you.

Also, I/we knew you were game-winning-mullet instantly (it was obvious, even before you posted to a Tru thread minutes later). You could have made content under that friendly banner for the past year+. It was not *you* we tried to eliminate.

You're here, so do stuff and get along.

No one is going to do you account juggling favours. (edit: at least I don't expect so; there was no meeting about it or something)

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I seek no service on juggling, I just want to be able to exist without being blamed for both sides of an argument, without being chastised for being unique, without being excluded for being misunderstood.  I want any measurable change in the way my presence is moderated.  if I can participate without being bounced, that is excellent.  any rollback of the bias against me would be appreciated.  rebranding seemed to make it worse.  the more I insisted that I should not be seen as a troll, the more the actual trolling me occurred, up and down the roster.  the more I tried to be known for who I actually am, the more admonished for the old artificially-riled-up rivalry abandoned.  it is REALLY hard to coordinate work with a community whose leaders disallow such efforts.  (contribute from exile using a new name -- it'll not blow up, right?)  it was always a team effort and I do not fill a roster alone, so the "could contribute while banned" theory kind of plasters over the reality.  it's going to be whatever y'all allow.  it is nice to read of a relaxing of the previous agenda, but it sure doesn't look anything like a clean slate.  maybe have a meeting?  plan me up?  oh, no, the whole place suffers if I push back!?  please.  I didn't crash the plane and your perception of my disrespect is itself disrespectful.  none of that needed to be anything, but the "conspiracy" fatigue factor seems to hold a lot of weight -- I suspect the "how dare he think out of the box" line got me put in the only real box.  so I promise that I see any kettle in the mirrors... and I ask if the same happens elsewhere.  I should not feel misunderstood because you have decided my intent for me?  it's just... deflection to dump it all back on me.  eggshells?  please.  y'all pretty much treated me the opposite of that claim, but we all do the ego defense when we feel wronged, I guess.  you think I have it wrong and you have a team of agreers.  it does not invalidate my side.  we were all worse for the way I was handled and there's plenty of disdain and dismissive refutation without fact in your reply, too, pan.  accommodation is the opposite of how it was received.  so please take that well and I'll kettle within reason (as always, note), aiming to not need to be described as black.  mine was the censored voice, so demonstrate something like the supposed leeway and have this helpful discussion with me without being so dismissive and sure of me being "the problem."  I am only a problem if you can never be confronted AND reach a solution.  I PROMISE that I can walk and chew gum.  you have had real trolls, real troublemakers, actual attacks on the community.  stop stuffing me with straw, men.

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Just.. stop?

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9 hours ago, trudatman said:

slander!  wow -- I don't think you know what that word means.  (that truthful belief expressed is not slander, by the way.)  I made an account Tru to try to move on from y'all having the vendetta.  when Trudatman was showing 1994 posts, I put it down.  I currently only have access to this account, but I would wish to switch over to the other one if I recover it.  we can do stuff?  that's good.  I have no wish for trouble.

No, you made plenty of accounts.

game-winning mullet, tru, trudatman, PC94, SNESNeedsAHero - those are 5 accounts I can remember off the top of my head. We have IP lookup services as mods. Also, when you create an account, it's blatantly obvious that it's you, because within 2 posts, you are already sounding like trudatman. 

You are not above anyone; we are not above anyone. We want a peaceful forum, and it's been like that since you were banned. Keep it that way, and feel free to post and contribute. Bad mouth the mods or any other user, and you get banned. That's how it works (not just for you, for everyone)!!

All your other accounts will remain banned. At least their content can be displayed on the forum. You can still see stuff you posted as Tru.

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game-winning mullet is a rad username.  here's to y'all not feeling "bad mouth" action when I gently challenge any aspect of the reality you claim.  peace means holding to the party lines?  that's corruption of reality and truth for the false sense of security.  this is basic stuff.  so when I say that y'all demonstrate a lack of the special skills that make for good leaders, I am not "bad," but offering gentle critiques... and there is almost always a suggestion toward improvement.  finding that offensive is a you problem.  at its core it is just a wish for a better community.  seeing posts like that one above where y'all act like I have/had bad intent is amazing.  implying that I am not peaceful is hilarious.  you clearly do not know me.  you are clearly clinging to the bias that brought us here.  it's what it is at this point -- I am happy to have access to being myself here.  here's to it working out.  believe that at least I want it to work out.  understand that it really is about how y'all do what you do that will most affect this experience.  you can expect me to do SNES stuff and engage with newcomers.  you can expect me to converse with people seeking information.  I may even discuss the merits of a version, the failures of another.  I won't use flowery mock insults in playful banter, but I shall speak truth to power at my own risk.  it really seems to be that I dare to challenge your infallibility when faced with no jury of my peers and an indictment I do not recognize as legitimate.  I'll do my best to contain that right here where it is most appropriate and not have it spill over into elsewhere where it compounds resentment.  but please do have a meeting so a rogue agent doesn't tickle me with demerits undeserved and I am sure that we can get along just fine.  y'all hold these powers and I surely do not.  I can collect eggshells, for there are actual repercussions for me.  just please stop pretending it was the opposite.  it was what it was and we can calmly disagree, but it drastically affects me while nothing changes for y'all except pretending I broke a peace treaty and acting on it like I ruined your sandbox.  it is like the all-white town celebrating "lower crime rates" after the token black guy got locked up.  you don't see it as a policing bias issue, but as a criminality issue.  I am here to promise you that it is indeed an issue of perception and that you choose the way to see me.  see me for the guy who wanted to keep the SNES hacking section active.  see me for the guy who was tired of seeing newcomers get frustrated with the vectors of the community and bounce in near anger, disappointed.  I don't wish to be "the problem."  I think it is greatly unfair to have it ascribed upon me.  my transgressions are minimal.  think Plabax, think P1zza, think Hokkee, more.  also note that every time I ask you to look inward, you come back with "tru is the badness."  I'll have nothing to "rant" about if y'all also cut the s**t.  what you have in front of you is a good person trying to help.  get mad about it?  but then, yeah, let's move on.  thank you for letting me rejoin the house party.  I won't defecate in the tub.  please also don't reach the shower curtain into the toilet to frame me.  I think you guys have enough right here to reread to try to know me for who I am.  I think it is fair for us to claim our sides to the story and have the trust in other members to see their truth in between.  in the past, my posts in defense of my honor and integrity would be removed -- it is a great relief to not suffer that frustrating experience.  I'll get back up to speed at some point.  I'll hope there are people wishing to work with me.  I think it would be really cool to see a SNES renaissance.  I love you.

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Hey Tru, welcome back man! 

There's a lot to unpack here. 

 

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I don't know you, but I love your passion as equally as much as I f**king hate childish drama and diatribes. From what I know about organizing and being an admin in various groups, just do good things and get along, and you'll be a productive and happy member. You won't need to write huge paragraphs to justify past or future actions. Just do good things, get along, don't start s**t, don't make dozens of other people uncomfortable, be there for the purpose for which the forum/community was created. I learned this when I got in a discussion about race being correlated with certain behaviours or features. It was in #offtopic so I thought I was fine, but in the end, if casual users get inundated with notifications about 5001 black people being violent, it might make them not want to associate with the group at all. and SNES sucks :P lol but if you're passionate about it and people like it, then f**k yeah!! hope you come back and make something cool. Cheers

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It’s as if the message was written in a different language and google translate was used and then copied and pasted. 

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is it?  I feel like I am pretty literal and readable, but I am not normal, so... it reads easily to me.  I tend to choose my words fairly carefully when typing, so it can get kind of like a high-school spelling test sometimes, but... I think you are just trying to pile on.  I totally believe that this is the place to do that.  maybe when you want to respond like this to my future content, bring the quote box here and run with it?  some sort of plan to not encumber our other encounters, yeah?  we can do this.

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4 hours ago, Bob Kudelski said:

Hey Tru, welcome back man!...

 

hi!  it feels good to be.

3 hours ago, danTML7 said:

I don't know you, but I love your passion....From what I know about organizing and being an admin in various groups, just do good things and get along, and you'll be a productive and happy member....be there for the purpose for which the forum/community was created....and SNES sucks....if you're passionate about it and people like it, then f**k yeah!! hope you come back and make something cool....

yay!  hi, person I am assuming joined while I was gone.  I must be at least resembling the caricature in enough ways that it lasts, but I believe that I am here for the right reasons.  this playful "your side sucks" stuff is exactly what brought me the backlash that I don't wish to stay identified with.  I would poke and joke.  I had a name I called Genesis folks.  I'm REALLY wishing for that type of engagement because trash talk is such a key component to competitive games -- I don't need to like it, but I had better be ready for it and... I do like it.  I miss it.  I have PLENTY to chirp, but nobody takes it for the love it is.  we don't have the handshakes after the game.  Marchand now just dives and draws penalties, his reputation no longer chasing him around seeking to dole out demerits.  I am not going to dive, but I'll check for blood and speak with the referees despite having no 'A' on my shirt.  and I'm not chasing around the other side's pest, hitting him in the testicles with the butt of my stick, you know?  I think I'd be wise to keep this stuff contained right here and to keep foci elsewhere when engaged outside of the exploration of these issues, but... wait... you don't like longwindednesses?  hi!

Edited by trudatman

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I'm in a category just called "Skip" - I will write my epic later tonight.

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Skippy!  Skip rules.  Skip puts in the work.  hi, Skip!  (skip.)

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I want to be able to reply to misinformation in the NHL '92 section, but I cannot.  that game is amazing and deserves its props using facts, regardless of if it's coming from me or a certified Genesis lover.  EA Hockey and NHL '92 are absolutely amazing.  they straight up rule.  they are short of perfect, as most games are, but... wow.  anyway, can I please have access to using rest of the site?  I have no intent to bother anybody in the Genesis leagues sections or wherever else I have nothing to offer.  I'll mostly stick to SNES hacking and welcoming newcomers, but when people don't understand that they need to switch the game speed on their emulators and nobody else is willing to explain that, I can serve some real utility around here.  I think the idea was that before I was banned, I was restricted to areas where I was deemed to have anything to offer.  obviously I feel that the determination was made unfairly, but even if it was totally necessary at the time, it really isn't now.  I am sorry that it would require a bit of work, but I really do believe that my request is fair.  thank you for the consideration.

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I'd also like to reply to the NHL who-retires-last contest to ask if Hokkee's new place is also a shack or if I am to travel to his old place.  it seems to me that I should be able to post in NHL Discussion if I can post in NHL '94 Community.  yeah?

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You don't get to talk to hokkee

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I'll see if I can figure out the 'other titles' thing.

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I am not sure what you mean about not getting to talk to Hokkee.  I am trying not to just guess what it means, because I have several initial thoughts about what it might... and they are wildly different.  huh.  whatever's clever for the next endeavor, Trevor -- never sever.

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I also cannot respond in the SNES NHL '94 ROM Mapping Project thread.  maybe just believe me about the fact that I have no intention toward peeing in the pool, and open my access to the site in general.  the areas I have been restricted from don't make much sense.  maybe the site was rearranged in the meantime or whatever, but either way, the stuff I can't reply to here includes a heck of a lot of the categories/topics that I could be of help within.  granted it is not MUCH help in my current state of having forgotten more than I ever knew, but the renewed potential is of value and -- I believe -- worth being open to.  thank you for your considerations, guys.

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25 minutes ago, trudatman said:

I also cannot respond in the SNES NHL '94 ROM Mapping Project thread.  maybe just believe me about the fact that I have no intention toward peeing in the pool, and open my access to the site in general.  the areas I have been restricted from don't make much sense.  maybe the site was rearranged in the meantime or whatever, but either way, the stuff I can't reply to here includes a heck of a lot of the categories/topics that I could be of help within.  granted it is not MUCH help in my current state of having forgotten more than I ever knew, but the renewed potential is of value and -- I believe -- worth being open to.  thank you for your considerations, guys.

I fixed it. My fault. When I added you back to the Members group, for some reason it created a new Members group, so there were 2 of them, 1 which wasn't assigned access to anything. You should be good now.

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awesome.  thanks, bud!

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thank you.  I am sorry for disappearing as we gained momentum.  you have been a tremendous help in my 'Chel hacking and general discussion experiences.  I look forward to getting back to it ASAFP.  I am a bit intimidated by the amount of work it'll take to become involved in such endeavors again, but I also look forward to affecting positive outcomes for you and the others around here who can truly benefit from my presence.  (I don't think I am as conceited as that may come across, but I guess it is plainly fair based on the lack of action in the areas I used to populate.)  I am now noticing your signature.  any thoughts on where Sega CD version and NHL '92 would fit in your chart?  thanks for still being around!

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On 1/15/2020 at 6:45 PM, trudatman said:

Skippy!  Skip rules.  Skip puts in the work.  hi, Skip!  (skip.)

hey bud! I hope you're well!! My man Tru!

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so... I am back in Massachusetts, living on the Cape lately, in Boston for the weekend.  what part of our Commonwealth are you in?

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