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B League: DET 4, NYI 0


gesundheit39

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Approximately a month ago, the Red Wings ran off a number of wins to get themselves back into playoff contention. As a reward for their improved play, coach Bowman took the team down to Mexico for a lengthy "training" session before the team returned to finish off the season. Many naysayers called for Bowman's head after the unorthodox move but early indications are that the hiatus is just what this team needed. The Wings thoroughly pummeled the Islanders for two periods before the Isles started to show signs of life in the third as Detroit downed New York 4-0.

Stated Bowman, "People doubt me, but they shouldn't. My track record says back the f*#$ off!" "Even though those wins last month were good and important for us, we needed lots of cheap beer and good looking latina women to truly revitalize us," said the normally quiet Nicklas Lidstrom, who chipped in two of the team's four goals.

When asked about what the "training" session involved, team veteran Mark Howe muttered "Well, we thought about hockey a couple times I think." "Why are you still asking my guys questions about their trip," said the unusually irate Coach Bowman, "these boys played like champs, outshooting those Islanders 13-2 through two periods. Did you not hear me when I said to back the f*#$ off? Do I need to spell it out for you in Mexican?"

Goaltender Tim Cheveldae made a number of key saves in the third to preserve his second shutout of the season. "I felt really good last night, but I'd rather be in Mexico. Maybe if we rattle off a few more wins and clinch the 7th seed, we'll get another little reward trip," said Cheveldae.

Vladimir Malakhov was called for a couple of early penalties that enabled the Wings to get a couple of first period power play goals. The Islanders were very agressive. "There's no truth to the rumor that we called Vladdy's mama a puta," quipped Shawn Burr. "He was just having a bad day, I think he and (Sergei) Feddie got together before the game for lunch and Feddie talked his ear off about his time spent with Anna Kournikova." "It's an ongoing thing, Feddie can't stop talking about her," chimed in 43rd line center Jim Hiller. "No truth to the rumor that we're going to use this as a new strategy either," winked Burr.

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