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Sharks Eat Devils in Another Glorified Scrimmage


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Carson's 6-pack Add to Devils' Woes

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Jimmy Carson's Double Hat Trick Lays Waste to New Jersey

The Mickey Mouse show was in full swing tonight, as San Jose literally ate the Devils for dinner in a 11-0 feast. It felt like famine for the Devils, who drew a season high 3,333 fans to the Brendan Byrne Arena. Problem was, they were all San Jose's fans. There was, however, one brave Devils fan who wore a paper bag over his head and a noose around his neck. The paper bag read "Fire Delgado". That fan was not alone in his criticism of Delgado's workings.

"I respect him, but this is too much. We're getting blown out on a regular basis, and the team's not happy. Something's gotta give" Devils star Doug Gilmour said as he left the arena. "He's as disappointed as we are, but he's not doing anything about it" Adam Graves said. To top it off, the previously-suspended Doug Lidster made another anti-Delgado comment. "We're working our ***es off for this guy, and what has he done for us? He's no coach, he's a publicity stunt, and a bad one. He's just a disaster waiting to happen".

Delgado fired back at his team, but not what we expected. This was an extremely remorseful Tom Delgado who spoke to the media after the game. "I feel terrible that this team is not responding to what we're trying to do. While I might feel bad about our terrible start, I'm not going to quit. If I quit now, I'm letting down the front office, the fans that still come out to the games, and our players. This is still my dream job, and I have every intention of seeing the season out. I will not be forced out under ANY circumstances. I will, however, try to make things better for our players and our fans. Me and the coaching staff are going to work extra hard from here and try to get these guys the win they deserve"

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Tom Delgado Outside of Brendan Byrne Arena After Latest Debacle

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I, Angryjay apologize on the behalf of the San Jose sharks organization for what took place in tonights game. It is never our intention to go out and put teams through the experience we have just put the New Jersey Devils through. We respect their organization and the players (especially Doug Gilmour, hes a swell fellow) and hope that they are able to recover from what has happend tonight. Also on a less somber note, the San Jose Sharks are going to reward their 3,332 diehard fans that attended the Devils game by allowing post game interviews for their players once more starting with their next game.

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When notified about San Jose coach Angryjay93's public apology to the Devils, coach Delgado replied with this.

"I appreciate his apology, but really, it isn't necessary. I know they weren't trying to run up the score. Sometimes when you're playing a game, you get into a zone. They were in the zone the moment the first puck was dropped. It happens"

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