Jump to content
NHL'94 Forums

Kelly Hrudey makes profound realization following consecutive losses to Chicago.


awesomerino
 Share

Recommended Posts

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 17) -- Despite his team's 3-1 loss to Chicago, the Kings' second in as many games to the Blackhawks, goaltender Kelly Hrudey was oddly when speaking with reporters after the game. "You know, usually, I'd be pretty upset after a game like this," Hrudey said, "But tonight, it finally occurred to me why I've been struggling so much all year. I'm a terrible goalie. Like really, insanely terrible. I have no business playing in the NHL."

Hurdey's teammates are inclined to agree. "Yeah he sucks," said winger Tomas Sandstrom. "He goes down much too early, positions himself poorly, and generally has no idea how to keep the puck out of the net." Coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon declined to answer questions as to whether he'll go with backup Rick Knickle for the Kings' next game, but did admit to looking into hiring a hitman to murder Hurdey.

"It's fair to say that I'd like to see him die," admitted the coach, "Preferrably in a way that causes him a great deal of suffering. Certainly enough suffering to mirror what we've been going through watching him flop around out there. I really hate him."

Hrudey's children, Zack and Cody, left the Great Western Forum in tears. "My father is a total failure," sobbed Cody. Added Zach, "It's pretty much a guarantee that I'll get into needle drugs when I'm old enough. You know, whatever dulls the pain of having watched him play so badly for so long."

The Kings have next couple of days off, no doubt to regroup around a new, less incompetent goalie they can rely on not to drop to the ice without the slightest provocation. "Did you take my coke?" asked Captain Wayne Gretzky. "It was right here when I left to go play, and now it's gone. Nobody leaves this room until I find it," said the Great One before whipping out a chainsaw and 'interrogating' every person in the room.

Suffice it to say, Kelly Hrudey is a sumbag deadbeat whose playing days are clearly numbered. The only question that remains is, will someone please cop to stealing Gretzky's blow so we can all go home with our limbs intact?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 17) -- Despite his team's 3-1 loss to Chicago, the Kings' second in as many games to the Blackhawks, goaltender Kelly Hrudey was oddly when speaking with reporters after the game. "You know, usually, I'd be pretty upset after a game like this," Hrudey said, "But tonight, it finally occurred to me why I've been struggling so much all year. I'm a terrible goalie. Like really, insanely terrible. I have no business playing in the NHL."

Hurdey's teammates are inclined to agree. "Yeah he sucks," said winger Tomas Sandstrom. "He goes down much too early, positions himself poorly, and generally has no idea how to keep the puck out of the net." Coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon declined to answer questions as to whether he'll go with backup Rick Knickle for the Kings' next game, but did admit to looking into hiring a hitman to murder Hurdey.

"It's fair to say that I'd like to see him die," admitted the coach, "Preferrably in a way that causes him a great deal of suffering. Certainly enough suffering to mirror what we've been going through watching him flop around out there. I really hate him."

Hrudey's children, Zack and Cody, left the Great Western Forum in tears. "My father is a total failure," sobbed Cody. Added Zach, "It's pretty much a guarantee that I'll get into needle drugs when I'm old enough. You know, whatever dulls the pain of having watched him play so badly for so long."

The Kings have next couple of days off, no doubt to regroup around a new, less incompetent goalie they can rely on not to drop to the ice without the slightest provocation. "Did you take my coke?" asked Captain Wayne Gretzky. "It was right here when I left to go play, and now it's gone. Nobody leaves this room until I find it," said the Great One before whipping out a chainsaw and 'interrogating' every person in the room.

Suffice it to say, Kelly Hrudey is a sumbag deadbeat whose playing days are clearly numbered. The only question that remains is, will someone please cop to stealing Gretzky's blow so we can all go home with our limbs intact?

Haha, awesome.

Yes, Hrudey is the ghost goalie. You barely know he's there, as evidenced in this game: http://mcapewell.servehttp.com/nhl94/boxscore.asp?gameid=117

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol great post man.

Coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon declined to answer questions as to whether he'll go with backup Rick Knickle for the Kings' next game, but did admit to looking into hiring a hitman to murder Hurdey.

"It's fair to say that I'd like to see him die," admitted the coach, "Preferrably in a way that causes him a great deal of suffering. Certainly enough suffering to mirror what we've been going through watching him flop around out there. I really hate him."

i lol'd hard

I got the kings too, so this was just hilarious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...