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After dropping 6 out of 7 games last night, All Star Goaltender and future hall of famer, Patrick Roy comes clean about his sexuality. After suffering from beatdown after beatdown in last nights contests, Patrick Roy admits in his own words that he was off his game due to an "anal ravaging" administered by starting Defenseman, Patrice Briseboise.

Patrice commented on the situation by saying "Suprisingly, everyone in the Montreal locker room was out of astroglide, so I had to use what was left in my sandwich from earlier that day... hey, how was I supposed to know that peanut butter wouldn't make a good lubricant?".

Roy is looking to get right back on the saddle within the next couple days... however, with his profuse anal hemorrhaging, the last place he should be getting on is a saddle.

Coming up in the next issue: Brian Bellows will address how he managed to fit Gary Leeman's, John Leclair's and Gilbert Dionne's ballsacs in his mouth at the same time.

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