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Gens D - Gartner Regains #1 Ranking


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NEW YORK, NY - Mike Gartner regained his ranking as the #1 prostitute in all of NHL with a 6 goal performance in the Rangers' 9-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Mark Messier had a goal and 6 assists. Gartner, who accounts for 70% of the Rangers goals this season, continued to show why he deserves MVP honors. "I just went out there hell bent on getting our team to the postseason, and getting us a .500 mark this season. I think we proved that we're going to be a very tough out in the playoffs" Gartner told reporters outside of his locker room. When asked about his NHL Prostitute status, Gartner replied "If this doesn't make me #1 again, then Mr. Awesometron rigged the rankings".

The New York Rangers will enter the postseason with a 10-10-0 record, having won their final 5 games to reach this point. Unless Tampa Bay wins out, they will be the #2 seed and these two teams will meet again in the postseason. "Looking forward to it" Said head coach SSiG. "They're a tough group, they will be a tough out this playoff year. I just hope our rust doesn't show when it comes time to play some serious November hockey"

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Congratulations on a .500 finish SSiG! You're going to have to come up with a new schtick now that the "oh I'm so terrible" stuff is no longer true.

Let this be a lesson to all new guys who get their butts kicked in their first few online games. Stick around and play these guys enough and you WILL GET BETTER.

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