IAmFleury'sHipCheck Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 I don't know if Jesus has driven himself to the 7th circle of NHL 94 hell while he gets this site together or what the story is lately but while we wait for his triumphant return to society, where do you think the Jesus is? 1. His gf broke up with him and before she took off, she made sure to grab his Teemu Selanne nhl94 teeshirt. Needless to say, he's preparing his strongest case to go in front of Judge Joe Brown to reclaim his rightful possession. 2. He has taken a new direction in life that doesn't include nhl 94. Instead, he's looking towards reality tv as his answer to all of life's questions. Ever since being turned down for A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, he's spent countless hours preparing his audition tape for I Love New York 3... b/c lets be honest, she's not finding love this season. In fact, it's going to take divine intervention for that to happen... so who better than the Jesus??? These aren't all that good but it's what I came up with over the past 5 mins. Anyone else want to post some guesses? Lets hear em!!! Quote
Hullie Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 Give it time. He puts a lot of time into this. But the fact is, it's virtual. It's not real, really. It's recreation. Sometimes you don't have time for recreation. Or maybe he joined a reggae band. Quote
DaDonch44 Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 I know the real answer.... but I don't know if I should ruin EA's guessing thread... Quote
Flames4LifeFLA Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 Maybe he is one of Andy Reid's sons, going through one of his binges. He does live in Philadelphia, right? Quote
jrodimus Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 Rumor has it that he's in South America competing in one of those underground 2on2 tourneys that were banned in the US a few years back Quote
IAmFleury'sHipCheck Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Posted November 13, 2007 By the way, this thread is in no way meant to bash Jesus. I just thought it would be something fun for us until he gets back. To keep a guy like him away from this place, I'm sure whatever reason for his absence is a good one. Quote
IAmFleury'sHipCheck Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Posted November 13, 2007 Or maybe he joined a reggae band. Now that's just silly, everybody knows that Jesus is partial to the smooth stylings of El Mariachi. Quote
skoolyardpuck Posted November 13, 2007 Report Posted November 13, 2007 I heard he was sent by the government to Thailand to fight in an illegal underground no holds barred, hand to hand combat tournament to investigate the dissappearance of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Ben and Fred Savage, and the Wayans brothers. what? OH RIGHT. they're just washed up. sorry..... well he's going anyway, hopefully his ninety-fourjitsu will hold up against long enough for him to get his ass beat in a brutal but slightly humorous fashion. Quote
addisonbr Posted November 14, 2007 Report Posted November 14, 2007 I heard he was sent by the government to Thailand to fight in an illegal underground no holds barred, hand to hand combat tournament to investigate the dissappearance of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Ben and Fred Savage, and the Wayans brothers. what? OH RIGHT. they're just washed up. sorry..... well he's going anyway, hopefully his ninety-fourjitsu will hold up against long enough for him to get his ass beat in a brutal but slightly humorous fashion. Did you ever read Nigel Short's account of playing a man he swears was Bobby Fischer in anonymous Internet chess matches? He would do totally f-ed up stuff (like moving all of his pawns forward one square with his first eight moves) and then still kick Short's ass. Keeping in mind that Short is one of the world's best speed chess masters. That's what'll happen here. Jesus will disappear, I'll be playing a "new guy" on the NHL94 server and he'll pass 137 times in the game, completing 136 of them, including several dozen passes to himself off the boards, on the way to a 6-1 victory. I'll jump up and down and scream "Jesus! It's Jesus!" but he'll quickly log off and I'll never hear from him again. Just like Fischer. Without, uh, the anti-semitism. Quote
sungod661 Posted November 16, 2007 Report Posted November 16, 2007 I heard jesus is doin charity work in nepal. he is spreading the nhl94 gospel while teaching yoga in the streete of timbucktoo.....more to follow Quote
sungod661 Posted November 16, 2007 Report Posted November 16, 2007 oh ya and dadonch is not cool Quote
skoolyardpuck Posted November 16, 2007 Report Posted November 16, 2007 thank you sungod. For contributing absolutely nothing to the thread. And double posting. Quote
IAmFleury'sHipCheck Posted November 17, 2007 Author Report Posted November 17, 2007 Just a heads up Sungod, dissing daDONche is the best way to sign a death certificate. If you see a flower delivery truck outside your place at 2 am, start packing. Quote
clockwise Posted November 17, 2007 Report Posted November 17, 2007 Unfortunately I wasn't abducted by the hooters girls whilst on a mission to save the presidents daughter, nor did I crash anything again...yet. Truth is I've been busy with work and am usually at the gym gettin all swole after work, and the gf got me my first dog since I left home, compounded with someone else in my family who died rendering me as the rock of gibraltar, so I haven't had much time to myself lately. Looks like guys have gotten some games in and I'll be investing some serious time over the weekend on the site and database. Quote
Flames4LifeFLA Posted November 17, 2007 Report Posted November 17, 2007 Unfortunately I wasn't abducted by the hooters girls whilst on a mission to save the presidents daughter, nor did I crash anything again...yet. Truth is I've been busy with work and am usually at the gym gettin all swole after work, and the gf got me my first dog since I left home, compounded with someone else in my family who died rendering me as the rock of gibraltar, so I haven't had much time to myself lately. Looks like guys have gotten some games in and I'll be investing some serious time over the weekend on the site and database. Glad to see you back around... Quote
skoolyardpuck Posted November 18, 2007 Report Posted November 18, 2007 seconded. glad to see that you're at least in good health, bro. Quote
DaDonch44 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Posted November 21, 2007 Just a heads up Sungod, dissing daDONche is the best way to sign a death certificate.If you see a flower delivery truck outside your place at 2 am, start packing. He's just upset b/c I won't move him farther up on the GDL Waiting List / Put him in the league. I've already contacted my boys to take care of my light work... The Witness Protection Program will be getting a hold of sungod soon.... Jesus, great to have you back man. Quote
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