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C/D - Yzerman Scores 7 in 2 Games...


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Yzerman's 7 Not Enough to Save Red Wings from Sweep, Delgado Turns into Bob Knight

DETROIT, MI -- Somehow, 7 goals in two games resulted in two losses. Only when Tom Delgado's coaching!

Steve Yzerman recovered nicely from his castration after the Quebec series with 6 goals in an 8-7 defeat at Montreal, then followed it up with a goal in the Red Wings 4-3 defeat at home to les Canadiens. "I guess that got me wanting to play again" Yzerman said of the castration. "Sure, I can't have hot sex with my wife anymore, but I'm scoring goals again!" He then proceeded to shout at the top of his lungs "I AM SKELETOR!!!", which gained stares from everyone in the locker room.

While Yzerman was happy with his performance, coach Tom Delgado was not happy at all with anything whatsoever. "We suck. We abso<censored>lutely suck." Delgado said during his post-series press conference. "When Steve Yzerman scores 6 goals in a game and you LOSE, you know the rest of your team is the most inept bunch of jobbers you've ever seen". After hearing that comment, goalie Tim Cheveldae started sobbing uncontrollably...and then coach Delgado laughed at him. "CRY LITTLE BOY, CRY. YOU BLEW THIS GAME, SO YOU SHOULD CRY!" Delgado shouted at him, before throwing a chair at the assembled media. The chair bounced harmlessly out of the way, but reporters scattered to avoid the carnage. Delgado wasn't done yet, as he then threw skates at some reporters. Again, he missed everyone he aimed at, but the message was sent. What was that message, you ask? Simple...

WIN OR DIE.

Yep. Coach Delgado is certifiably insane.

knight-chair.jpg

Coach Delgado Throws a Chair, and Several Other Things at the Media After Losses

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