Bradley Fire's teammates, bolts go down in 6

[angryjay93]

What was the key of the series? I believe some smart guy named AJ said Mikael Andersson would be key, well, Andersson is being shipped back to Sweden after his no-show performance against Pittsburgh. Andersson waited until game 5 to score his first goal, and that would be his lone goal, as his pathetic performance will long be remembered in the short Tampa history books. In 3 games at Pittsburgh, Andersson showed no speed what so ever as the world famous Pittsburgh cuisine got the best of him.

"Ok, so i looked a little slow in Pittsburgh, but they got 59 cent cheeseburgers at the local 7-11. What am i supposed to do? say no?" said Andersson as he chomped on another cheeseburger Wimpy style as he boarded the plane out of Pittsburgh.

So with Andersson out of commission, March Bergevin having dellusions that he was Bobby Orr with his constant adventures up ice, Wendell Young's best Jim "the puck goes inski" Buzinski impression, and Chris Kontos's pouting like a woman during that time of the month when he was both on and off the ice. It's a wonder how the Lightning even managed to push Pittsburgh to 6 games.

"How do you think we did it, isnt it obvious," said Captain Brian Bradley while pointing at himself. "Sure, i didnt play as well as i could have either, sure i left a ton of goals out there, but seriously, would you really be in the mood to score when you feed Andersson 2 foot open net shots time after time only to see him biff it off the side of the net? I got contract negotiations coming up, I'm not about to risk myself for this collection of stiffs."

When Coach Juice Maker was confronted after the last game, he had this to say about his teams performance.

"I didnt really come into this series expecting much, I mean Steve Kasper was looking to sacrifice a live chicken before game 4, but Andersson ripped it away from him in time and managed to scarf it down in one fell swoop. But despite the chaos, we outshot, out passed, out zoned, and were far more disciplined than Pittsburgh. I think we even outplayed them a majority of the time, but when you cant hit an open cage at critical times of the game and then you turn around to give up a goal, what can you really expect other than the result we got?"

The question remains though in Florida, will Juice Maker be back for a 2nd season?

"Well, lets see, we have a primadonna, a fat ass, a sieve, a woman on menopause, a pimple faced kid, a grandpa, and an old yeller candidate. I hear Anaheim is awfully nice, hopefully they can give me a call."

GM 1 PIT 4-0

GM 2 TB 6-3

GM 3 PIT 5-2

GM 4 TB 3-0

GM 5 PIT 7-3

GM 6 PIT 7-2