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Gens D: Coked-up Kings hang on to beat Tampa Bay 3-2


awesomerino

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ST. PETERSBURG, FLA (Sept. 17) -- Wayne Gretzky really needs to lay off the blow. When asked to comment on his three goal performance, which propelled the Kings to a 3-2 victory over the Lightning, the Great One said, "Who the f**k are you? Huh? Who sent you? Huh? Sanchez? You tell that rat son-of-a-b***h that he'll get his money!"

Paranoid delusions aside, Gretzky played like a man possessed Monday night, scoring a natural hat-trick, including two short-handed goals in the 3rd period. Defensemen Alexei Zhitnik, who assisted on all three Gretzky goals, was frank in his assessment of his team's performance: "Gretzky really needs to get some help. I caught him going through my wallet before the game. It's really unnerving."

The Kings roll into Chicago next, for a much-anticipated game against the Blackhawks.

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