NEW YORK, NY - Mike Gartner regained his ranking as the #1 prostitute in all of NHL with a 6 goal performance in the Rangers' 9-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Mark Messier had a goal and 6 assists. Gartner, who accounts for 70% of the Rangers goals this season, continued to show why he deserves MVP honors. "I just went out there hell bent on getting our team to the postseason, and getting us a .500 mark this season. I think we proved that we're going to be a very tough out in the playoffs" Gartner told reporters outside of his locker room. When asked about his NHL Prostitute status, Gartner replied "If this doesn't make me #1 again, then Mr. Awesometron rigged the rankings".

The New York Rangers will enter the postseason with a 10-10-0 record, having won their final 5 games to reach this point. Unless Tampa Bay wins out, they will be the #2 seed and these two teams will meet again in the postseason. "Looking forward to it" Said head coach SSiG. "They're a tough group, they will be a tough out this playoff year. I just hope our rust doesn't show when it comes time to play some serious November hockey"

Always wondered what that thick 'stash was for....

covers up the mouth herpes

Congratulations on a .500 finish SSiG! You're going to have to come up with a new schtick now that the "oh I'm so terrible" stuff is no longer true.

Let this be a lesson to all new guys who get their butts kicked in their first few online games. Stick around and play these guys enough and you WILL GET BETTER.

I'm still quite bad, Addy

I can play well with D-Leaguers, probably not against the rest of the community. Got a long way to go.