TruePensFan1981 Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 According to my sources (who wish to remain anonymous), Mr. Lucas has been developing a new Star Wars movie. It's not a new movie per se, as it's more of a remake of the original trilogy of Star Wars. Mr. Lucas is apparently a very big hockey fan; likewise, some NHLers (past and present) are avid Star Wars fans as well! They are still in the stages of finishing up their casting; however, Lucas plans to have some preliminary filming done A.S.A.P. so that an official preview may be released at next year's NHL awards show. Here are some excerpts from the script. CAST Luke Skywalker: Wayne Gretzky Han Solo: Mario Lemieux Chewbacca: Stu Grimson Lando Calrissian: Grant Fuhr Princess Leia: Janet Jones Gretzky Obi-Wan Kenobi: Gordie Howe Yoda: Darren Pang R2-D2: Theoren Fleury C-3PO: Gary Bettman Ewok head tribesman: Daniel Briere Jar-Jar Binks: Jeremy Roenick Darth Vader: Dale Hunter Emperor Palpatine: Bobby Clarke Bobba Fett: Eric Lindros Jabba the Hut: Roman Cechmanek Some scenes (according to anonymous sources) Howe (Kenobi): You can’t win, but there ARE alternatives to fighting. Lemieux (Solo): Coming from YOU, that’s surprising to hear! ________________________________________________________________ Gretzky (Luke): Listen, Master Yoda. I appreciate the lessons, but I have to be leaving Dagobah for now. I must head back to Hoth and play some hockey with my friends, then get ready for the assault on the empire’s space station. Pang (Yoda): Hoth, you say? Hockey, you play? Take me, you must! Getting my gear, I shall! Gretzky (Luke): Uh, no thanks. We have enough goalies. Pang (Yoda): By my size, judge me, you mustn’t! Good goalie, I am! _________________________________________________________________ Bettman (C-3PO): Mr. Solo, sir, I must advise you: the odds of flying through an asteroid field… Lemieux (Solo): Listen, pipsqueak! I was out of commission for a while but came back to win employee of the year after back surgery, and I survived cancer. NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS! ______________________________________________________________________________ Grimson (Chewie): RAAAAAAAAAAHR! Bettman (C-3PO): Oh, quit whining, you hairy oaf! It’s a perfectly legal move! Lemieux (Solo): I’d let him win if I were you. Wookies are known to tear people’s arms out of their sockets after losing. ________________________________________________________________________________ ____ Fleury (R2-D2): Beep-blip, beep booooop! Fuhr (Lando): What did he say? Bettman (C-3PO): He said it’s been a long day, and he needs a beer. He also wants to know if you’ll give him a shine. …. Oh my! R2, I think you’ve offended Mr. Calrissian! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabre Dance Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Hmm, I figured Bettman would be The Emperor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Russian Rocket Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Luke's fake father = Bill Berg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangeblack92 Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 (edited) Very funny bud, is George Lucas a penguins fan too!?!? Edited July 22, 2009 by orangeblack92 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruePensFan1981 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Very funny bud, is George Lucas a penguins fan too!?!? Lex Luthor: Lord, you gave them eyes, yet they cannot see. If Lucas were a Pens fan, he would've assigned the role of Luke Skywalker to Sidney Crosby, rather than Wayne Gretzky. Now be nice, or I won't give you any power boosters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowposession Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Very funny bud, is George Lucas a penguins fan too!?!? i was wondering the same thing but clarke as emperor.... fitting for us broad street bullies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangeblack92 Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Thanks dude, Lucas Must at least be a flyer hater then!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruePensFan1981 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Thanks dude, Lucas Must at least be a flyer hater then!!! Even in a joke topic, there's always somebody who needs to be uptight and complain. Wow. Lucas a Flyer hater? Sure... or you can accept the fact that you're just 100% paranoid. Clarke as emperor is fitting for the following reasons: 1. He was a leader. 2. He was one ugly S.O.B. Sure, he didn't have Mace Windu melt his face at all, but those missing teeth were part of a face that only a mother could love. Originally, there were thoughts of Eric Lindros as Darth Vader (due to his enormous stature); however, it was decided that Lindros would be better of as Bobba Fett, as Fett did lose his head in battle. Dale Hunter was a callous and merciless S.O.B. and thus was deemed to be Darth Vader. I hope you at least got a laugh out of this thread, as it was intended to be a humorous one that would bring a chuckle or two to Star Wars fans and hockey fans alike. Sorry I didn't make a Tim Kerr snow cone machine to replace Snoopy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangeblack92 Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 (edited) i did think this was funny dude and touche with the face!!! Edited July 23, 2009 by orangeblack92 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedWingDevil Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Nice idea, TPF. Although I think there's something in the casting that's a little off. Jar Jar Binks - Sean Avery That's better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kupuck19 Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Jar Jar Binks - Sydney Crosby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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