awesomerino

There there, gentle Oates-haters. Oates the winger will bring the pain your taunts have caused him with each passing game. If Gretzky was the Angel of Death, then Oates is the Left Hand of God, or Shiva the Destroyer. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

QUEBEC CITY (Oct. 28) -- After a prolonged absence from regular season play, the LA Kings, still reeling from the homicidal locker room coup that claimed 11 lives, ended their season on high-note, beating the Nordiques 4-2 at Le Colisee thanks to some miraculous developments in modern medicine. Following the crucifixion and cannibalisation of underachieving netminder Kelly Hrudey, the Kings appeared all but doomed to play out their season in front of back-up goalie and noted douchebag Rick Knickle, until the Nintendo Experimental Science Center phoned coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon with a remarkble discovery. While conducting their research in cyber-genetics, Nintendo scientists were able isolate the "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, select, start" gene, which allows for the cloning of up to 30 versions of any living being. Originally designed to assist US Contras fighting overseas, the Nintendo Scientists - all huge LA Kings fans - decided to run tests on the severed head of Kelly Hrudey, which captain Wayne Gretzky finally removed from atop his head when informed he needed to re-don his usual Jofa helmet to resume play. Scientists were able to clone a newer, better version of Kelly Hrudey, who backstopped the Kings to their 13th victory of the 20-game season. "It was really nice of them," remarked coach Awesometon from his bunker/office. "When we heard we were finally going to play again, there was some awkwardness in the room, what with Gretzky wearing that diaper for so long and drinking human blood like it's coffee, so when Hrudey 2.0 walked in, we kinda felt the sense of closure we'd been looking for." For his part, Gretzky was philosophical about the experience. "I guess I went a little overboard," remarked the Great One in a rare moment of lucidity, "but as long as I'm wearing the original Kelly Hrudey's heart around my neck, we'll be in good shape."

With their 2nd pick, the Buffalo Sabres select Adam Oates.

The Buffalo Sabres proudly select Peter Bondra.

Personally, I could play a whole 82.

I appreciate the balanced approach of this proposal, to be sure, but personally, as a new coach, I'd rather play against the very best as often as possible, so that I can learn their ways and use them to my advantage. And it should be noted that "my advantage" is a euphemism for "the eventual, systematic destruction of every coach who isn't me." Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahaha! Seriously.

I think that, by now, it's safe to say that our man TFultano ain't coming back. Dude hasn't played since September and has missed the last two checkpoints. Would it be possible to parachute a new coach into Quebec to play the team's remaining 16 games? If Wayne Gretzky doesn't play soon, he is going to do something that will make even the most fervent believer question the existence of God.

Why are the player ratings so low on all of the updated roms? I understand and agree with the goalie ratings being bumped up, but why the diminish the players' skill? Isn't gameplay the reason 94 is so superior to its successors?

Snaking.

I'm not sure I understand the point of the hybrid draft. Isn't the GDL supposed to be like a hockey pool that you get to play out? Aren't all hockey pools drafted through snaking? Besides, if the new guys, like myself, are inserted into the lower portion of the draft, then to whose benefit is this system, really? Maybe 5 or 6 coaches out of 24? It just seems like a detriment to the league. I also do not understand why votes that were cast without comments were discounted. Presumably, the rationale is to prevent people from voting multiple times, but I noticed that the polls are set-up in such a way that people can only vote once. So should it really matter if people justified their votes or not? In that the draft does not begin until Nov. 1, and now that the teams are all set, would it be possible to create a 1-day poll in which all 24 GDL coaches must vote?

I voted for PWNAGE under the assumption that 'murderdeathkill' requires too many letters.

I also voted for 2 min, mostly on account of the fact that we only lay 5 min periods, but also because it strikes me as the fairest punishment for the crime. The crime of boarding, yes.

...And I thank you.

LOS ANGELES (Oct. 17) -- WWI. WWII. Korea. Vietnam. Iraq I & II. These are the images that come to mind when surveying the LA Kings' locker room, where the body count is rising with no end in sight. After starting the season by playing an astounding 19 games in two weeks, the Kings find themselves succumbing to muscular atrophy, not to mention full-blown dimentia, following a period of inactivity that can only be described as 'ludicrous.' "For the love of god, somebody help us. Please," begged shotgun-toting coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon, who locked himself in his office 5 days ago after his players - in an attempt to alleviate their overwhelming boredom and frustration - crucified, barbequed, and ate (now former) goaltender Kelly Hrudey. "Gretzky's been wearing the same adult diaper for 11 days, and now he's wearing Hrudey's head as a helmet. If I don't make it out of here alive, please tell my kids to avenge me when they're old enough." Captain Wayne Gretzky, however, is optimistic that his team's inactivity will pull them closer together. "I AM THE ANGEL OF DEATH!" exclaimed Gretzky while gnawing on a drumstick that used to be Jimmy Carson's leg. Star winger Tomas Sandstrom echoed Gretzky's sentiments, adding, "the square root of 100 is alligator." While it remains unclear when the Kings will finally wrap-up their season by playing their final game against Quebec, coach Awesometon is certain of one thing: "I am so scared right now."

Perfect. That also explains why guys like Roenick finish the season with 250 goals.

You glorious bastard.

I'm curious, if we're drafting whole teams for the GDL, does this mean that we're playing with line changes?

Donch, I've thought about it, and I'd like to switch from the Whale over to the mighty Oil. Es possible?

Even 95, at the end of the day, was kind of a letdown. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent game, and at the time, I was definitely caught up in the new features, like season mode and the fact that you could trade players, but once their novelty had kind of faded, there was no denying that the game just wasn't as satisfying as 94. I hope Mack does indeed figure out a way to create a ROM that combines the gameplay and graphics of '94 with the added features of the later versions.

New user, top 3 teams: MTL, NYR, LA - but really, any team is fine.

I'd be so into this league.

I'm in for sure.

I'd be into it in a second

So does this mean that I'm not too late to join for Season 3? Can someone please tell me Demitry's AIM name? Or is there a better way to contact him?

Far out. Thanks.