nhl94anonymous


jrodimus
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Friends,

Do you stay awake all night wondering if your team will drop in the standings?

Do you constantly check your aim list hoping for a league game?

Has your spouse/significant other threatened to leave you upon hearing the opening theme to nhl94 once more?

Is NHL94online.com your new homepage?

Are you finding it harder and harder to get anything done?

Well now, there's help:

call 1-800-NO-NHL94

our NHL94 counselors are standing by, 24 hours a day to help you break your addiction

rickchapelle.jpg

"NHL94 is one hell of a drug!"

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Step one. Spend every night for the next two weeks at your local strip club. Come home with body glitter on your clothes, smelling like cheap perfume. Insist that you aren't doing anything wrong, just meeting the boys for a beer, and you're just looking not touching and your Honey is the only one for you.

Step two. After the two-week trial period, play NHL94 at home for a couple of days, preferably in the same room (or next room) as your Honey while she watches Grey's Anatomy or something equally repulsive. Pop your head into the den every half hour or so and talk about how you had forgotten how fun that game is!

Step three. Casually mention over breakfast that you found out after playing for a couple of days that NHL94.com actually has online leagues - can you believe it? But you're not sure you'd have the time because most coaches are only available to play in the evenings, and that's when you usually go drinking with your friends. Besides, it's a kid's game, you were stupid to even bring it up. She would probably just make fun of you all the time if you actually started playing in a video game hockey league. How retarded. Forget I even brought it up. Pass the bacon please.

Step four. Sometime the next morning before 10:30am guaranteed, unwrap the FedEx-delivered controller your Honey ordered for you. Contact addisonbr for a test game so we can get you set up and confirmed.

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Friends,

Do you stay awake all night wondering if your team will drop in the standings?

Do you constantly check your aim list hoping for a league game?

Has your spouse/significant other threatened to leave you upon hearing the opening theme to nhl94 once more?

Is NHL94online.com your new homepage?

Are you finding it harder and harder to get anything done?

Well now, there's help:

call 1-800-NO-NHL94

our NHL94 counselors are standing by, 24 hours a day to help you break your addiction

rickchapelle.jpg

"NHL94 is one hell of a drug!"

JRod, I have the cure for this dreaded disease that is slowly taking over your freedom.

It's called A JOB!

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Step one. Spend every night for the next two weeks at your local strip club. Come home with body glitter on your clothes, smelling like cheap perfume. Insist that you aren't doing anything wrong, just meeting the boys for a beer, and you're just looking not touching and your Honey is the only one for you.

Step two. After the two-week trial period, play NHL94 at home for a couple of days, preferably in the same room (or next room) as your Honey while she watches Grey's Anatomy or something equally repulsive. Pop your head into the den every half hour or so and talk about how you had forgotten how fun that game is!

Step three. Casually mention over breakfast that you found out after playing for a couple of days that NHL94.com actually has online leagues - can you believe it? But you're not sure you'd have the time because most coaches are only available to play in the evenings, and that's when you usually go drinking with your friends. Besides, it's a kid's game, you were stupid to even bring it up. She would probably just make fun of you all the time if you actually started playing in a video game hockey league. How retarded. Forget I even brought it up. Pass the bacon please.

Step four. Sometime the next morning before 10:30am guaranteed, unwrap the FedEx-delivered controller your Honey ordered for you. Contact addisonbr for a test game so we can get you set up and confirmed.

addison: Your theory is inherently flawed. 1) because you're a guy and 2) becuase you're a guy you've thought WAY too much about it. and made a complex plan when you should have done a simple one.

Anyway you know most girls would still be upset. the argument would be thus: "you're not spending enough time with me"*pout*. trust me, i know*. :blink:

*I do not condone the action stated above, and disclaim ever using this technique.

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JRod, I have the cure for this dreaded disease that is slowly taking over your freedom.

It's called A JOB!

I have a job(full time and then some), a wife who can't/doesn't want to understand this, and two kids under 4 years old.. and I can't stop thinking about NHL 94.. like Brokeback Mountain:

"I wish I could quit you!"

brokeback_mountain.jpg

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damn dude where ya been? you didn't actually take my advice did you???????????????

Ice-

Spent the last few days in rehab-it was HELL!!!

They made us do all kinds of horrible things like reading, hiking, and interacting with people face-to-face---I HATED IT!!!

For the entire four days, all I could think of were one-timers, booming slap shots and checking MF's over the boards.

I decided I couldn't take it anymore, and I escaped out the side door during our tour of the Liberace museum.

I think I've come to terms with my addiction--it's a part of me, and I'm a part of it.

The grip of NHL94 is just too strong

see you on AIM

Jrod

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I just need to say this thread is awesome. But I would like to know, who has nhl94.com or nhl94online.com as their homepage? Because that's awesome too! (I personally don't but probably should.)

-Evan

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count me in as having it as our homepage! great idea Evan.

Classic J-Rod. Treatment to assimulate you into 'normal life' Suckers don't realize life sucks without 94 baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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JRod, I have the cure for this dreaded disease that is slowly taking over your freedom.

It's called A JOB!

This past weekend, I tried that "JOB" thing that you spoke so highly of...WHAT A CROCK OF SH!T!!!!!

Once again I had to deal with "people" face to face (hundreds of them), and I've reached a conclusion: people are stupid, fat, ugly and they smell.

mean_but_funny.jpg

We need a Mad Max style apocalypse stat....

I promptly quit my job and returned to the sanctity of my comfy computer chair.

Never make that mistake again :)

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