awesomerino Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 LOS ANGELES (Oct. 17) -- WWI. WWII. Korea. Vietnam. Iraq I & II. These are the images that come to mind when surveying the LA Kings' locker room, where the body count is rising with no end in sight. After starting the season by playing an astounding 19 games in two weeks, the Kings find themselves succumbing to muscular atrophy, not to mention full-blown dimentia, following a period of inactivity that can only be described as 'ludicrous.' "For the love of god, somebody help us. Please," begged shotgun-toting coach Awesomerino J. Awesometon, who locked himself in his office 5 days ago after his players - in an attempt to alleviate their overwhelming boredom and frustration - crucified, barbequed, and ate (now former) goaltender Kelly Hrudey. "Gretzky's been wearing the same adult diaper for 11 days, and now he's wearing Hrudey's head as a helmet. If I don't make it out of here alive, please tell my kids to avenge me when they're old enough." Captain Wayne Gretzky, however, is optimistic that his team's inactivity will pull them closer together. "I AM THE ANGEL OF DEATH!" exclaimed Gretzky while gnawing on a drumstick that used to be Jimmy Carson's leg. Star winger Tomas Sandstrom echoed Gretzky's sentiments, adding, "the square root of 100 is alligator." While it remains unclear when the Kings will finally wrap-up their season by playing their final game against Quebec, coach Awesometon is certain of one thing: "I am so scared right now." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HABS Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 lmao, i love these posts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEGENDOFNHL94 Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 " I am the ANGEL OF DEATH" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addisonbr Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 Star winger Tomas Sandstrom echoed Gretzky's sentiments, adding, "the square root of 100 is alligator." Electronic genius. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesomerino Posted October 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 Electronic genius. ...And I thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 A fantastic write up. Someone change Gretzky's diaper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmac Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 I love it! Awesomerino, you make the best writeups man! Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smozoma Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 alligators have so much more meaning to me now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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