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Zalex

Looking for a Job ?

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WARNING : The following is meant for entertaining purpose only. Nothing is this topic should be taken seriously so MODS DONT EDIT. Viewer discretion is advised.

Are you looking for a job that pays well ? Tired of cheering for a sh*tty NHL team that cant win 35 games in a row ? Have you ever gay ? If you answered yes to at least one of the questions, then I got a solution for you.

In order to make money and to be part of a top class NHL organization we simply have to buy our own NHL team and make it successful ourselves. Everyone on the forum would occupy a job that suits him well in order to build the best team ever in the NHL.

Here's the list of jobs that suit the members best:

Owner: Evan

Because, Evan owns NHL94.com (worth estimated $600 million) so he got all the money needed to buy a NHL Franchise.

President : Jeremy Roenick

Because, it's not so much me, as it is Roenick he’s good(Hes about to do his thing with the thing).

GM : Zalex

Because, I have the smallest dick on the forum, and everyone knows that NHL GMs have small dicks(until Ray Emery becomes a GM, see NHL Trivia Madness).

Assistant GM : Sebe

Because, his dick isn’t THAT small.

Coach : Habs

Because he has a bipolar personality, he would change lines every 2mins like every normal coach does.

Assistant Coach : Carse

Because, Assistant coaches always whine to refs after a lost.

National Anthem Singer: Bono (Boknows not the real Bono)

Because when someone is named Bono, you know he can sing dam well.

Goal Announcer: Freydey

Because we all heard how great his voice can be when he yells (see Ga Tribute).

Security : Halifax, Chaos, Shaftman, Icestorm

Because, all our forum mods got the experience needed. They know how to deal with waffles thrower.

Ice Girls : FPB, Houli, Nationals, SunGod

Because there are no women on the forum, I had to choose the guys with the biggest boobs.

Trainers : Dickon, Matthurray, Metzgerism, Vocally

Because their boobs size didn’t meet the min. requirement to be an ice girl.

Mascot : Tacoman

Because, you won't need to tell the mascot to STFU. A mascot will always remain silent. (Anybody Home?).

Scout (North America) : Angryjay

Because he challenges every prospect to a Bof7 of NHL94, and if he gets beat, he then judge the youngsters to be NHL Material.

Scout (Europe): SWOS

Because Angryjay is too lagolas to play prospects from Europe.

Team Doctor : Smozoma

Because, that guy can fix anything, from a corrupt game file to a broken finger stuck in the coach’s ass.

Zamboni Driver: Mav

Because, after forfeting in the first intermission, to a 0-1 deficit, Mav found a way to stay on the ice by being the zamboni driver.

Video Editor: Jesus

Because, in order to show the crowd the most exciting videos, there’s no question Jesus is the man. He proved his skills before(see

).

Beer Seller: Hokkey

Actually Hokkey refused the job in order to stay sober.

Janitor: Wags

Because, at 52 years old, Penguins Fan and Big Mac eater, he got the perfect profile for the job.

Scalper(and drug dealer) : DonnyBrook

Because we all know Donny sells drugs.

Waterboy : Orangeblack

Because, anything else than putting water ( A ) in bottle ( B ) would be too hard for him to understand.

Lets do it.

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I went to private school and I currently go to college, did you do that?

Someone didnt read the warning. Oh and Im at university right now. Does that mean im not stupid ? Not at all.

Edited by Zalex

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I went to private school

Going to private school is more representative of how much money your parents have than how smart you are.

Edited by Louie14

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Zalex: I was joking as well, all in good fun I know, I am not a complete stiff.

Matthurray: Good one

Louie: Very True, there were some total idiots in my grade, but my parents stuggled to pay my tuition evey semester and I am not in the least bit rich

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i can't believe hokke isnt the official msacott O_O

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Someone didnt read the warning. Oh and Im at university right now. Does that mean im not stupid ? Not at all.

hahahahahaaaaa

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for hokkee to not have his hand in the management/trading of the roster is a damn shame

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for hokkee to not have his hand in the management/trading of the roster is a damn shame

There's someone who can't wait to be traded for a six pack of Budweiser.

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Have you ever gay ?

GM : Zalex

Because, I have the smallest dick on the forum, and everyone knows that NHL GMs have small dicks(until Ray Emery becomes a GM, see NHL Trivia Madness).

Ice Girls : FPB, Houli, Nationals, SunGod

Because there are no women on the forum, I had to choose the guys with the biggest boobs.

Zamboni Driver: Mav

Because, after forfeting in the first intermission, to a 0-1 deficit, Mav found a way to stay on the ice by being the zamboni driver.

Beer Seller: Hokkey

Actually Hokkey refused the job in order to stay sober.

Janitor: Wags

Because, at 52 years old, Penguins Fan and Big Mac eater, he got the perfect profile for the job.

Scalper(and drug dealer) : DonnyBrook

Because we all know Donny sells drugs.

Waterboy : Orangeblack

Because, anything else than putting water ( A ) in bottle ( B ) would be too hard for him to understand.

GOLD WORTH 7 MONTH OLD BUMP

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