Ten commandments of nhl '94


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- NHL '94 is the lord of hockey games; there is no game above it.

- Honor thy game and console.

- Thou shall not be vulgar in the presence of nhl '94.

- Remember the release date of NHL '94 and keep it holy.

- Thou shall not commit adultery with another hockey game.

- Treat NHL '94 in life as you would in death.

- Thou shall not insert extremities into the controler port.

- One must be respectfull of their opponent, no matter how bad they suck.

- Thou shall not worship another hockey game.

- One must not forfeit during a contest, no matter how lopsided the score.

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- NHL '94 is the lord of hockey games; there is no game above it.

- Honor thy game and console.

- Thou shall not be vulgar in the presence of nhl '94.

- Remember the release date of NHL '94 and keep it holy.

- Thou shall not commit adultery with another hockey game.

- Treat NHL '94 in life as you would in death.

- Thou shall not insert extremities into the controler port.

- One must be respectfull of their opponent, no matter how bad they suck.

- Thou shall not worship another hockey game.

- One must not forfeit during a contest, no matter how lopsided the score.

- Thou shalt update thy league webpage with frequency and aplomb.

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Thou shalt check as many players as possible after the whistle.

Thou shalt celebrate breaking the glass more than scoring a goal.

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Thou shalt check as many players as possible after the whistle.

Thou shalt celebrate breaking the glass more than scoring a goal.

HAHAHAHA..I agree with those rules.

I also wanna ad one:

thou shalt do your best to break the crowd meter

thou shalt always remove Goulet from the starting lineup

thou shalt try and win a match without a keeper at least once

thou shalt try and score with the keeper at least once

thou shalt realise that the lighter players are...the better they check!!!!!!

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I would guess he means against the computer.

Btw... this thread is awesome.. my favs are:

Thou shalt check as many players as possible after the whistle.

thou shalt always remove Goulet from the starting lineup

thou shall replay their great goals over and over using reverse angle and slow motion

thou shall sing along to organ music during the game, even giving ridiculous lyrics to them

thou shall play teammates vs the computer and see how many passes they can get across in the offensive zone back and forth before scoring a goal

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Thou shalt check as many players as possible after the whistle.

Thou shalt celebrate breaking the glass more than scoring a goal.

Yeah that first one was hilarious.. And the other one, so true! :lol:

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IMO...

1-Thou shalt NEVER lose to the computer

2-Thou shalt always score a goal when the midway music starts in the 3rd

3-Thou shalt never overestimate the power of the HABS

4-Thou shalt never underestimate the power of the HABS

5-Thou shalt always switch Howerchuk and Mogilny so that Dale sits on thy penalty kill

6-Thou shalt always strive to injure the other team's star player(s) as soon as possible

7-Thou shalt learn to skate into the ref as someone goes into the box, and then do it as much as possible

8-Thou shalt knock down all of the opposing team's players after they score on you, and then spit on their coach

9-Thou shalt drink much liquor while playing and sing along with the organ at least once in thy lifetime

10-Thou shalt forever dream of the magical day when 50 goals in a ten minute period game becomes a reality

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IMO...

1-Thou shalt NEVER lose to the computer

2-Thou shalt always score a goal when the midway music starts in the 3rd

3-Thou shalt never overestimate the power of the HABS

4-Thou shalt never underestimate the power of the HABS

5-Thou shalt always switch Howerchuk and Mogilny so that Dale sits on thy penalty kill

6-Thou shalt always strive to injure the other team's star player(s) as soon as possible

7-Thou shalt learn to skate into the ref as someone goes into the box, and then do it as much as possible

8-Thou shalt knock down all of the opposing team's players after they score on you, and then spit on their coach

9-Thou shalt drink much liquor while playing and sing along with the organ at least once in thy lifetime

10-Thou shalt forever dream of the magical day when 50 goals in a ten minute period game becomes a reality

Good list, except I never replace Mogilny. Also, is it acceptable to harrass the player going into the box instead of the ref?

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Good list, except I never replace Mogilny. Also, is it acceptable to harrass the player going into the box instead of the ref?

Absolutely, I forgot about that...heh. Also, I don't replace Mogilny, I just switch his side so he doesn't sit out on the penalty kill (I play with no line changes).

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  • 7 months later...

-----
- NHL '94 is the lord of hockey games; there is no game above it
- Honor thy game and console
- Thou shall not be vulgar in the presence of nhl '94
- Remember the release date of NHL'94 and keep it holy
- Thou shall not commit adultery with another hockey game
- Treat NHL'94 in life as you would in death
- Thou shall not insert extremities into the controler port
- One must be respectfull of their opponent, no matter how bad they suck
- Thou shall not worship another hockey game
- One must not forfeit during a contest, no matter how lopsided the score
- Thou shalt update thy league webpage with frequency and aplomb
- Thou shalt check as many players as possible after the whistle
- Thou shalt celebrate breaking the glass more than scoring a goal
- Thou shalt do your best to break the crowd meter
- Thou shalt always remove Goulet from the starting lineup
- Thou shalt try and win a match without a keeper at least once
- Thou shalt try and score with the keeper at least once
- Thou shalt realise that the lighter players are...the better they check!!!!!!
- Thou shall replay their great goals over and over using reverse angle and slow motion
- Thou shall sing along to organ music during the game, even giving ridiculous lyrics to them
- Thou shall play teammates vs the computer and see how many passes they can get across in the offensive zone back and forth before scoring a goal
- Thou shalt NEVER lose to the computer
- Thou shalt always score a goal when the midway music starts in the 3rd
- Thou shalt never overestimate the power of the HABS
- Thou shalt never underestimate the power of the HABS
- Thou shalt always switch Howerchuk and Mogilny so that Dale sits on thy penalty kill
- Thou shalt always strive to injure the other team's star player(s) as soon as possible
- Thou shalt learn to skate into the ref as someone goes into the box, and then do it as much as possible
- Thou shalt knock down all of the opposing team's players after they score on you, and then spit on their coach
- Thou shalt drink much liquor while playing and sing along with the organ at least once in thy lifetime
- Thou shalt forever dream of the magical day when 50 goals in a ten minute period game becomes a reality
-----

Adding:

- Thou shalt not claim that a 1-goal victory means you are better than your opponent, yet a 1-goal loss means you are about even
- Thou shalt not be too smug after winning with Chicago
- Thou shalt not hang onto the puck with your goalie, causing a stoppage in play

However

- To covet forbidden fighting is permissable and will not keep you from Heaven

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Yeah guys. these commandments are so funny.

I have one:

Never take Goulet off the lineup,

Heres a proof why, and Fisher, you can keep dreaming about that fifty goals. I don't think a player with your skills is ever gonna reach that :(

post-621-1162688981_thumb.jpg

post-621-1162689664_thumb.jpg

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And by the way S.Stevens, you are such a nerd with your baseball league.

Wow. You're right, I'm such a nerd. I guess I'm a nerd for betting on horse racing too, huh? People like you really crack me up.

:( Idiots.

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uuh, stevens. I told you allready that you should not take it personally even if youre horses dont bring you money.. ;)

..and I also challenge the "finnish elite" to play against us. Swoosh, If you hink that 5-6 years playing is some kind of experience, oh please..

Over ten years of expirence is something. So please swoosh, lets see a.s.a.p who iwho.

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uuh, stevens. I told you allready that you should not take it personally even if youre horses dont bring you money.. ;)

..and I also challenge the "finnish elite" to play against us. Swoosh, If you hink that 5-6 years playing is some kind of experience, oh please..

Over ten years of expirence is something. So please swoosh, lets see a.s.a.p who iwho.

reply the PM I sent and tell if you have any instant messenger accounts, so we can actually setup the games.

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I love the list so far... great thread.

Goulet out of the lineup is the best one, I was cracking up when I read that b/c it doesn't get any more true than that.

I have several others I would like to add:

Thou shalt remember that Gretzky was made into a powerhouse for 94, but only b/c people felt bad for him being such a wuss in 93.

Thou shalt recognize that you should always feel good about injuring someone for a gamer, unless it's Lemieux (b/c we all know if you fart in his direction, he'll keel over).

You shalt always be cooler if you stop a breakaway with a flying burrito from your goalie.

It shall never be your fault that you have to use all 3 LA Kings goalies in one game.

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Goulet out of the lineup is the best one, I was cracking up when I read that b/c it doesn't get any more true than that.

Hey fleury, did you not see the 51-0 with goulet on the starting line-up?

Maybe you should try to learn how to play before you next time come shouting to better players ..ok?

Ps. you should show some respect to those 51 goals, that is number that youre not gonna reach, ever.. :lol:

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Hey fleury, did you not see the 51-0 with goulet on the starting line-up?

Maybe you should try to learn how to play before you next time come shouting to better players ..ok?

Ps. you should show some respect to those 51 goals, that is number that youre not gonna reach, ever.. :lol:

With Noonan in the lineup you probably could have scored 70. Goulet had fewer goals than either of your defensemen in that game and only managed 6 shots... He is truly awful. I think that Goulet's presence in Chicago's starting lineup is why, mathematically, the team gets a 78 rating, instead of the 99 they would otherwise merit.

P.S. - You should show some respect to the community here. There is no need for slinging personal insults in every thread you participate in.

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With Noonan in the lineup you probably could have scored 70. Goulet had fewer goals than either of your defensemen in that game and only managed 6 shots... He is truly awful. I think that Goulet's presence in Chicago's starting lineup is why, mathematically, the team gets a 78 rating, instead of the 99 they would otherwise merit.

Oh yeah? Why dont you go and score those 70 with noonan on the line-up.. It obvious that you haven't been playing with chicago. I thing goulet is one of the best players around the net in this game. If he had only 6 shots, so what? Everybody are not expected to score , some of the players are better with something else, like goulet is..

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Aloha, it seems like everytime you post something, it's to brag how much you beat the computer. Seriously man, who cares if you beat the computer 200-0. Doesn't make you a good player.

Oh wait, you're from Greenland or something, you must be good. What a joke.

Addison, nice Goulet entry... pretty damn hilarious.

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Fleury says: Aloha, it seems like everytime you post something, it's to brag how much you beat the computer. Seriously man, who cares if you beat the computer 200-0. Doesn't make you a good player.

well,fleurys hipcheck. You are thirty year old guy,right? You started this, you had something to say about our (seemio,ahola) pre-game talk..I assume that if you come to other peoples conversation, you got something to show for..?

In this case, I dont see nothing but a guy who knows that he is trying to get cross the river that is too wide for him...

Youre right. it doesn't prove anything if we beat the computer 200-0. But it proves that it is more than you could ever score..

Bytheway, you did not answer the question I asked when you were mogging my spelling and writing in English: how many languages do you speak and write yourself? I do 5 langueges And one moore thing: If youre friends in Scandinavia can write/speak perfect English, it is a good thing, right? In scandinavia people do read and study other languages and cultures. How about you, have you ever read anything else besides English book/paper..? Or maybe you think that it is needless..?

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oh, nice one. So obviously you haven't ever read anything besides english.? Ill make it easy on you. Do you know 5 countries from Europe? I know it is a tough one for you, but still try.? OK ? Maybe you would know at least three..?

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Just to appease you, I studied and travelled all around Europe for almost a year. It's true, I don't know 4 1/2 languages like you do but then again, I really don't need to. Why do you know so many? Oh that's right, if you didn't know that many, you wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone b/c no one's learning finnish anytime soon.

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Just to appease you, I studied and travelled all around Europe for almost a year. It's true, I don't know 4 1/2 languages like you do but then again, I really don't need to. Why do you know so many? Oh that's right, if you didn't know that many, you wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone b/c no one's learning finnish anytime soon.

That is correct. You really dont need to. Are you proud of being U:S citizen?

And as I said, in Europe they teach other cultures and languaes in schools and universities..how about in states? Do you ned to pay your own trip to get to learn other cultures? I bet they dragged you down the streets of Paris in the sack. You know why?,- beacuse otherwise you would get overdosed by the cultural differences. . U.S is really not the only place in the world, you know..?

PS.You are so funny for mogging me over and over about my grammar..

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